How Many Loves

How many loves does a person get in one life? Do we meet them all, or only if one relationship ends. I guess the first definition necessary is the concept of love. When I speak of love, Im talking about infatuation mixed with anticipation, adoration stirred in. Im talkin about mind spinnin, can't focus on nothin else, must breathe you, inhibit and anticipate you, love. Not the deeper, we been together, got your back down for whatever, boring or exciting, in it to win it love. There is a difference.

It would be a sad thing if we were only afforded that one time, teen young adult love. The one time of total consumption by the feeling because real life hasn't set it. I like to think that God bestows that love on the searching heart at the time in life it is necessary. That He determines we're ready, plants it on us, and watches what we do with the gift. (complete speculation, not biblically based. that would be research and Ive done enough of that today)

There are friends that tell me they have never been in love. I don't believe them. I know its not true. I watched them, in love, but torn, becuase love did not fit the form shaped by Hollywood, Disney and Mama's love stories. I witnessed love dismissed because of their inate inability to not forgive, not trust, not let God step in. Wouldn't it seem just too cruel, to exist on this desolate realm, and never experience the bursting wonder of emotion that is love.....

Rules of Engagement

What are the rules of dating, engaging, interacting with that opposite sex? And how do we teach them to our little girls. This has been a big issue over the last two weeks as I have been the listening ear to one of my friends tumultuous relationships. It is the inspiration for rejected happiness - a result of continuous conversations about how my friend doesn't feel happy, the realtionship doesn't create happiness, he can't maintain happiness, etc...happiness, in that context, just seems so fleeting.

My girlfriend told me something yesterday, in response to my lecture about making her man wait, man up, step forward and pursue - rather than being babyed ad nauseum. She said, "my mother never told me anything about relationships.....I thought you kept a man by fulfilling his every need." That amazed me. That is not our call. Now don't get me wrong, when you want to take care of your man, there is nothin wrong with it. But when the relationship is completely one sided, you are giving and taking care of, and he is just taking, then something is wrong. My friend gave over and beyond. But, is it all his fault for being a taker or are we somewhat to blame, for enabling the dependant person, making him worse.....

I don't know - I don't have any answers. I watch hip hop videos and watch my mommas define their success by how much cha cha was dispensed for that bling and my heart hurts. I witness my girlfriend go thru this painful separation, holding on to an idea of a relationship, and my heart hurts. I try to even begin to explain the process of self preservation while exploring love to nieces, young girlfriends, daughters, and my heart hurts. Where do I begin?

Why Love?

My fellow poet and blogger, Shai Davis, who shares a middle name, has a wonderful poem on her site Drawn 2 Words. She writes "I keep promising myself I will stop writing about love." Which led me to the question, why do we spend so much time, thought, emotion on love? Yesterday I worked twelve hours, and played Jill Scott the entire day. Two albums consumed my attention for twelve hours, about love.

What is it that captures us? Even after debating politics or the state of our people, discussing the world and life, we always come back to love. No matter how many times I have tried to draft something different, a love related poem springs to my heart, a love based story comes to mind. I am convinced that love is the purity of God, the only emotion that is shocking and comforting, affirming and overwhelming. When we suffer, it is not love, it is the human reaction to or response while in love. Love itself is always pure. And I can't ever get enough.

So I guess we will write on, and dream on, and reminisce about love. Blush, gasp, inhale, exhale and remember loves effects. See there, I feel another poem coming on.....