Choose Your Words Carefully

Did you know that words have power? Spoken words. Written words. They have real power. Not in a mystical, Harry Potter, kinda way. But there is an energy that flows from your tongue, past your lips, to another's ears. And based on that energy, on the way it is received, on where the receiver is in their own journey of life, you can affect another person. Just with your words.

Last night, I watched the power of words hurt my child. A person, who shall remain nameless, but who is visiting for the holidays, told my daughter to shut up. Yep, she said "Shut Up." And my seven year old recoiled as if she had been hit and visibly bit down on her lips to keep them shut. Now, my "visitor" was in the middle of a game with my other daughter. My eldest girl kept talking and pointing out the error in my visitor's strategy. So the shut up flew of the tip of her tongue in the heat of competition.

But it still hurt.

I was going to respond, whip out my barrage of word counters and strike back on the person who had inadvertently hurt my daughter. But then I remembered. Words have power. And once put out there, you can't take them back. You can't press rewind and delete, can't retract them from the hearers head. It's done, once it leaves your lips. Once its written on paper. Once it has been received, it is forever in the sphere of thought, the realm of interaction. It is a one shot deal.

So I chose silence. I met word garbage with silence. I chose a metered tongue and a measured mind. And I spoke in soft tones to reassure my talkative child, to lightly dismiss the "snafu" and return her to a state of comfort. And I reflected on the power of words.

Don't believe me? Try it out. I tell my daughters they are beautiful everyday. They smile each and every time, as if it is the first time hearing it. We tell them how special they are, how thankful to God we are to have the opportunity to raise them, so on and so forth. I used to do this with my eldest son. And while he claims he doesn't remember it now, I know that those positive words were daily seeds of encouragement, counteracting the doubt and hate imposed by the world. I know that my son knows my love for him, unquestioning, more than anything else. I spent years speaking love to him.

Conversely, I don't have to spank. A disciplined word, a harsh tone, will reduce my children to tears. There is power in communication, power in the spoken word. Similarly the written word can invoke pain. When my son became upset with me he sent a text that he was going to "unfriend" me from facebook. And I responded right back via text with how mean his text was and a few thoughts of my own. And we hurt each other, bruised each other, via the electronic written word.

Think about the words you utter, before they leave your mouth. Think about how often your children hear you gossip, complain, whine, negatively compare, berate, belittle, etc. Understand the power of your tongue, of your word, of your pen and how it affects not only you but your seed and generations to come. It is imperative that you be careful with your words...