I have been writing reviews for a long while now. For the past few months for Rawsistaz reviewers. I really enjoy it - and I am getting to read some fantastic pieces. Some. I noticed when I first began reviewing two years ago, some stuff is just.....not good. And, what do you say? I mean, it is subjective, who am I to tell someone that their work isn't good because it doesn't appeal to me. But, well, it's more than just not appealing to me. Some stuff is actually....bad. Poorly written (BTW-ignore my typos while I criticize, please). Not well thought out. Definitely not realistic. The problem with self publishing is that some folks just shouldn't write novels. Self publishing gives an open forum to everyone, which was necessary because the publishing industry was restrictively biased. But, some of the "Black literature" that I have read is so bad that I can't help but cringe.
Instead of outing folks in what is not their best product, I comment in a positive light. But these are a few pet peeves that I have noticed and I think listing them here will at least make me feel a little better, like screaming into a pillow in the back of a closet!
1. THERE IS NEVER A SMOKING GUN. This is a basic principle I learned in law school, I would just like to share it with my fellow authors. The person who cheats doesn't leave a list of their cheating discretion on the dining room table. The real babie's daddy doesn't get a blood test and then announce the results to complete strangers. The stalker doesn't leave a diary full of his tricks. Why is this necessary to point out? To date over 3/4 of the books I review build up great suspense. Then in one chapter the entire story is discovered and fixed, because the perpetrator tells on themselves. It is disappointing and shatters the mystique of the story.
2. NO MORE FRIENDS TURNED INSPECTOR GADGET. The first point leads to this second one. I don't want to read 1 more book where the best friend dons a weave/wig, ala Samantha from Sex and the City, seduces a stranger, tape records him confessing the entire truth, and then gets home just in time to fix dinner for her man. Do I really need to expound on this point? Doesn't it just seem wrong, highly unlikely, and a book turner off-er(made up word)? Then stop doing this in the novels!
3. A CREATIVE BEGINNING. Now this point is one in which I am hesitant to raise. The last ten novels, no exaggeration, started off the EXACT SAME WAY. Good hard working sistah, dating gold toothed, jheri curl having, no job working "Tyrone" type. He gets caught cheating with (fill in the blank here- gay lover, white woman, another woman, his hand, etc...)Then our heroine begins her story. Now, I get why this is the starting point. But since so many people seem to start here, it is advisable to find a different intro. When readers are browsing in the bookstore - if they are anything like me, and unfortunately for them many are- they will read the first two pages and shut the book. I can spend two hours in the bookstore and walk away empty handed by performing the "no good black men in the first chapter" test on any given day.
4. END THE BOOK. Dayum! Do I really need to tell someone that? I have no idea who started this "Ima set the reader up to buy a sequel" trend, but trust me, it doesn't work. The only thing it does is buy you a place on my "never buy one of their books again" authors list. Listen, if JK Rowling can finish (as in completely complete) a biblical sized book on an annual basis and create enough curiosity to bring back millions of readers, then why on earth can't a simple book about Black love and relationship do the same? If you want to bring me back, give me closure. Give me deeper characters with whom I can grow, whose maturity is something I want to experience. DO NOT build up a whole "who is she pregnant by plot," which by its very nature is pathetic anyway, and then end the book. Do you really think I am going to wait a year to find out? Do you really think I care that much? Do you really think you have somehow lured me in? Guess what, when I have recognized ghetto madness and stick with the book anyway, the least you can give me is an answer. Some finality. Something instead of the frustrating realization that the novel was a complete waste of my time.
5. MOST BEAUTIFULLEST. This point I am a little less adamant about. This is just a "hmmm?" moment. Why does every woman and every man have to be perfect in their presentation. The woman has the perfect body, not an inch out of place, not an extra pound anywhere to be found. Thong ready and stiletto perfect. Every man over 6 feet, picture perfect fine, six pack for days, a sexual stud. Really? Why? Why wouldn't some of these characters represent the many shades and sizes of us. I don't get it. Black woman who are overweight are making our heroines the perfect woman we have never been nor do we know. Black woman the color of deep chocolate are writing heroines that are no darker than Beyonce. I want to spit up everytime I see another "caramel skinned/green/grey eye character." Now, it is fiction. Therefore, the characters shouldn't look like the author. I just don't understand why I have read so many books by so many different sized woman of color with different complexions and hair lengths/textures, yet the main character is always the same. I guess we don't really believe that we are all that beautiful in our multiplicity, as evidenced by how we portray us, huh? We are perpetuating the "brown paper bag test" and the perfect body stigma more than any other culture ever forced it on us...
Wheeeeew. Thank you for letting me vent. Now, I will reel my emotions back in and attempt to offer my best opinion possible. And I will try not to slam down/burn/tear/destroy any more compilations of paper that lead me in an endless chase, like a puppy nipping at her tail...
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007
I Am Legend
Will Smith just blew me away. Literally. He is on the next level of acting, of presenting...I can't explain it. I loved I Am Legend. First off, I am a sci fi head, so this type of movie is right up my alley. Secondly, it is based on a premise that is plausible. A scientist cures cancer, but the cure causes a mutated virus. Of course. Killing off 99% of the population. Of the 1% left alive, only 1% is immune, the rest become this rabid, cannibalized version of humans, feeding off of the immune and everything else. Will is trying to find a cure, constructing for himself a daily routine to keep his sanity (he hasn't seen a another normal human in years) and remain hidden from the mutants who overtake the city at night.
The movie drew me in. The complete normalness of his day against the stark emptiness of Manhattan was stunning. Few actors can carry a movie without much dialogue. I think it is narrowed down to Jodie Foster and Tom Hanks to be exact. But Will did it. In rare, touching form. I haven't been this consumed by a flick and all the questions it raises, since the original Matrix, which was initially offered to Will (instead of Keanu) and he turned it down to do that Western Flick (i can't think of the name)- proof that he is not perfect. Unlike that body of his which filled the screen nicely, during a workout/pull up scene for a beautiful full minute.
But anyway, I applaud him for this film. Sally Richardson plays his wife, his beautiful daughter Willow plays, uh, his daughter. But the film is so good you can even forgive the blatant nepotism.
I heard people complaining that they wanted a little more action although everyone is unanimous that Will blew it away with his acting. But I loved the simplicity of the scenes, underscored by the pure terror of trying to survive day in and day out. I am going to buy the book immediately.
The movie drew me in. The complete normalness of his day against the stark emptiness of Manhattan was stunning. Few actors can carry a movie without much dialogue. I think it is narrowed down to Jodie Foster and Tom Hanks to be exact. But Will did it. In rare, touching form. I haven't been this consumed by a flick and all the questions it raises, since the original Matrix, which was initially offered to Will (instead of Keanu) and he turned it down to do that Western Flick (i can't think of the name)- proof that he is not perfect. Unlike that body of his which filled the screen nicely, during a workout/pull up scene for a beautiful full minute.
But anyway, I applaud him for this film. Sally Richardson plays his wife, his beautiful daughter Willow plays, uh, his daughter. But the film is so good you can even forgive the blatant nepotism.
I heard people complaining that they wanted a little more action although everyone is unanimous that Will blew it away with his acting. But I loved the simplicity of the scenes, underscored by the pure terror of trying to survive day in and day out. I am going to buy the book immediately.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Succesful Webcast...
THank you so much for tuning in. My first webcast was successful and, I have to tell you, I feel relieved. It was like the debutante ball, the first time my voice has been associated with my writing on a national scale. I have to thank Pam Osbey and Osbey Books, Inc. for this phenomenal experience. I think the show went very well, Pam asked wonderful questions and kept the energy of the show alive.
Feel free to click on the link below to hear the podcast, which will be available for the next two weeks....
LITERARY PIZZAZZ
Tune in at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/literarypizzazz or click link above...
Feel free to click on the link below to hear the podcast, which will be available for the next two weeks....
LITERARY PIZZAZZ
Tune in at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/literarypizzazz or click link above...
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Tidbits - December
Christmas is approaching and, like every year, I reminisce on the ones I have loved and lost. I have no idea why Christmas always makes me feel melancholy, but I have the same reaction every year.
Recently, an old friend returned to my world. I knew him before I even knew myself. Not that I know myself actually, but I have a little more of a clue than I had then. We were kids together, now adults together. Isn't it odd how life works, how someone from your childhood could still be such an important part of your life. It's given me reason to reflect and think about the many years I have known him and how much life has changed for both of us...
We recently went to West Point to take my son a football visit. A once in a life time experience. But military academy means making that commitment. It's a rare opportunity, but its coupled with the inherent dangers of war. The reality of war. And while I have had a family member fight, serve, participate in every war back to the Civil War (although some of them weren't allowed a weapon/ or to participate in combat)its a different thing to sign up your child. I am unsure how my son perceived it, I have to see what he decides. He also has offers from Northwestern, Louisville and Navy so far, so we'll see how it goes.
Finally got a publishing deal for two novels - Life and Discovering Love. Now I just need to have them professionally edited before submission. At least 1 grand each manuscript. As usual, one step down, a million more to go...But, no complaints.
Recently, an old friend returned to my world. I knew him before I even knew myself. Not that I know myself actually, but I have a little more of a clue than I had then. We were kids together, now adults together. Isn't it odd how life works, how someone from your childhood could still be such an important part of your life. It's given me reason to reflect and think about the many years I have known him and how much life has changed for both of us...
We recently went to West Point to take my son a football visit. A once in a life time experience. But military academy means making that commitment. It's a rare opportunity, but its coupled with the inherent dangers of war. The reality of war. And while I have had a family member fight, serve, participate in every war back to the Civil War (although some of them weren't allowed a weapon/ or to participate in combat)its a different thing to sign up your child. I am unsure how my son perceived it, I have to see what he decides. He also has offers from Northwestern, Louisville and Navy so far, so we'll see how it goes.
Finally got a publishing deal for two novels - Life and Discovering Love. Now I just need to have them professionally edited before submission. At least 1 grand each manuscript. As usual, one step down, a million more to go...But, no complaints.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Tune In December 13 at 8pm
Join Aisha at 8pm on December 13, 2007 as she discusses
Tune in at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/literarypizzazz or click link above...
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Thanksgiving- cellphones
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! I really really wish you all the blessings, happiness and peace that God bestows upon you. Each of you have encouraged and believed in me in so many different ways and I am praying that his year I can give back that type of unconditional support and inspiration.
I have to say - this was my best meal ever! I finally got organized to cook what I wanted, how I wanted with a neat and clean kitchen to boot (without passing out afterward). Our friend Nelson spent today with us, he, my husband an done of my sons both fell asleep watching tv immediately after the meal - so ya'll know that food was good.
Only bad thing - i burned my hand. It was pretty bad, but I WAS NOT going to the hospital talkin about I burned my hand trying to cook Thanksgiving dinner. PLease. I had just finished preparing the peach cobbler and was moving it to the stove. MY husband said something, I responded and the thick, boiling hot, syrup peach mix spilled onto my hand. I refused to drop it, I had just spent twenty minutes preparing that thing. SO I screamed but neatly placed it in the oven and spent the rest of the day with burn ointment and bandages over my semi blistering hand (gross-i know). Just paying my cooking dues!
So, last night I got a shock. I was cooking and thinking about my cell phone bill and how it is finally manageable. At the SAME INSTANT, my husband dropped the latest Sprint bill in my lap. 1,834.00. Yep. You saw right. 1,834.00. Why? Because my son couldn't get clear reception in his bedroom and, unwilling to stand in one spot in the garage, like I have been doing, he decided to switch his phone to ROAM. So, for the past month, we had incurred roaming charges for every moment that boy has been home. I was fit to be tied. But it was the night before Thanksgiving, so I just decided its something I will have to deal with in the future....
I have to say - this was my best meal ever! I finally got organized to cook what I wanted, how I wanted with a neat and clean kitchen to boot (without passing out afterward). Our friend Nelson spent today with us, he, my husband an done of my sons both fell asleep watching tv immediately after the meal - so ya'll know that food was good.
Only bad thing - i burned my hand. It was pretty bad, but I WAS NOT going to the hospital talkin about I burned my hand trying to cook Thanksgiving dinner. PLease. I had just finished preparing the peach cobbler and was moving it to the stove. MY husband said something, I responded and the thick, boiling hot, syrup peach mix spilled onto my hand. I refused to drop it, I had just spent twenty minutes preparing that thing. SO I screamed but neatly placed it in the oven and spent the rest of the day with burn ointment and bandages over my semi blistering hand (gross-i know). Just paying my cooking dues!
So, last night I got a shock. I was cooking and thinking about my cell phone bill and how it is finally manageable. At the SAME INSTANT, my husband dropped the latest Sprint bill in my lap. 1,834.00. Yep. You saw right. 1,834.00. Why? Because my son couldn't get clear reception in his bedroom and, unwilling to stand in one spot in the garage, like I have been doing, he decided to switch his phone to ROAM. So, for the past month, we had incurred roaming charges for every moment that boy has been home. I was fit to be tied. But it was the night before Thanksgiving, so I just decided its something I will have to deal with in the future....
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Essence Magazine
I just found out - my poem Pre Destiny will be published in Essence Magazine. Can you believe that? Now, I don't want to get too emotional, I am normally pretty good at masking that. But...do you know what a milestone Essence magazine is for me?
When I was about 10, I read Terry McMillan's Discovering Acts. I remember it because I was, and am, a voracious reader and I had never read anything so real before. Toni and Alice felt so abstract in their writing (to my young mind) but Terry was real life. And with that I sat down and put pen to paper. I must've wrote twenty articles for Essence. But I had no idea how to get the article to them and no idea how to even ask for help. So they just faded away. And when teenage angst sank in, along with depression, I gave up hope of every realizing that dream. I was to busy tryin to survive.
And now it has happened. Not an article, or a book excerpt, like I had planned, but still. Something of mine will be in Essence. Whew...I have come along way ya'll. And I am still just getting started!! Which is both tiring and thrilling at the same time. So stay tuned for updates on the Essence issue...
When I was about 10, I read Terry McMillan's Discovering Acts. I remember it because I was, and am, a voracious reader and I had never read anything so real before. Toni and Alice felt so abstract in their writing (to my young mind) but Terry was real life. And with that I sat down and put pen to paper. I must've wrote twenty articles for Essence. But I had no idea how to get the article to them and no idea how to even ask for help. So they just faded away. And when teenage angst sank in, along with depression, I gave up hope of every realizing that dream. I was to busy tryin to survive.
And now it has happened. Not an article, or a book excerpt, like I had planned, but still. Something of mine will be in Essence. Whew...I have come along way ya'll. And I am still just getting started!! Which is both tiring and thrilling at the same time. So stay tuned for updates on the Essence issue...
Georgetown
So, I went to the Gtown game tonight. And I had a good time. We are friends with one of the Hoya freshmen and his family. It is something to watch him play at this level, it is mindblowing that he, or any other young man, can make it to this level. Playing for JT III? I am proud of him. He makes it look easy, but I know this journey couldn't have been all roses. No ones is, after you scratch past the surface. I hope his dreams come true and when he looks back he can feel contentment, no regret. What more could you wish for for someone?
I am proud of my son. I am proud of his circle of friends. I am thankful to God for placing us in Maryland during this time period, where my son could find other black young men with goals and focus, who didn't have to waste energy on proving their blackness through imitation thuggery, thereby being unecessarily distracted from their gifts, callings and abilities. It is purely divine intervention.
(I am only posting this because it is already on facebook - mine is in center, blue shirt, sunglasses and vest)
(mine in the loud red shirt(smile))
So as I sat at the Verizon center tonite, with my son and his friend, watching freshman Hoya accomplish the near impossible, discussing their futures which, for me and my friends was definitely impossible, I simply felt thankful. So humbly thankful...
I am proud of my son. I am proud of his circle of friends. I am thankful to God for placing us in Maryland during this time period, where my son could find other black young men with goals and focus, who didn't have to waste energy on proving their blackness through imitation thuggery, thereby being unecessarily distracted from their gifts, callings and abilities. It is purely divine intervention.
(I am only posting this because it is already on facebook - mine is in center, blue shirt, sunglasses and vest)
(mine in the loud red shirt(smile))
So as I sat at the Verizon center tonite, with my son and his friend, watching freshman Hoya accomplish the near impossible, discussing their futures which, for me and my friends was definitely impossible, I simply felt thankful. So humbly thankful...
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
updates
It has been forever since I posted. I am sorry for the delay. so much has been happening, while many things are staying the same. I have experienced a tremendous amount of change in my personal life and am thankful-it has been all good, even the bad has been good.
On the writing frontier this has been a week of weeks. I will be a guest columnist in Noire magazine. Also, I am the winner of the No Candles Infinty contest by Osbey Books Inc.- I submitted the story of how I fell in love. I will be featured on the webcasttop discuss this and other works, I will keep you posted on updates. ALso I am now a RAWSISTAZ reviewer and am writing reviews for the newest releases.
I haven't been posting as much because I am trying to complete my third novel (but the first to be published by a publishing company) which has a deadline for November 2007. The more I write, the more the story changes and develops into something completed different than I anticipated, taking away from my time to write other things. The story is intringuing me, the characters keep changing from my original plan - so bear with me, I will get back to regular posting soon!!
On the writing frontier this has been a week of weeks. I will be a guest columnist in Noire magazine. Also, I am the winner of the No Candles Infinty contest by Osbey Books Inc.- I submitted the story of how I fell in love. I will be featured on the webcasttop discuss this and other works, I will keep you posted on updates. ALso I am now a RAWSISTAZ reviewer and am writing reviews for the newest releases.
I haven't been posting as much because I am trying to complete my third novel (but the first to be published by a publishing company) which has a deadline for November 2007. The more I write, the more the story changes and develops into something completed different than I anticipated, taking away from my time to write other things. The story is intringuing me, the characters keep changing from my original plan - so bear with me, I will get back to regular posting soon!!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Media Happenings
So - Michael Baisden is on a roll. He is experiencing that high that one gets after a planned event goes well, and you just want to keep hosting functions. I am impressed with what he did for Jena 6, it is wonderful to see a real grass roots movement, not spearheaded by the usuals whose issues I don't quite agree with but feel obligated to support. It feels so stale, following behind the regulars. So I felt encouraged that Michael was able to bring together so many people to at least bring attention to the issue, no matter what site one is on.
Well, today, he took on a new issue: Bill O'Reilly. Apparently Bill met Al Sharpton for lunch at Sylvia's, the soul food restaurant in Harlem. Bill made comments to the effect that "black people are beginning to think for themselves, people were sitting quietly, ordering, and noone was yelling mother f..." In other words, he was impressed that he didn't witness black folks acting a fool in the restaurant. Kindof an inverted compliment? So anyway, Michael asked his listeners to call Fox an invite Bill O'Reilly to come onto the Michael Baisden show. hilarious. At last listen, the Fox operators were answering the phone and simply hanging up. So, I am going to tune in to hear the outcome.
Also, I watched the Little Rock 9 HBO show tonight. SOOOOOOOO depressing. It is so easy to forget life outside of the Beltway, how the rest of the world lives. They featured a sophomore mother of two. Another little girl, no kids and honor student, trying hard, but her living conditions were: sad. I spent every summer of my preteen life in Little Rock, the stories and the living only showed one side, of course, but it was real. real. real.
Did anyone see the BET hip hop vs. america show. I can't get over my anti BET sentiment enough to watch it (unless, of course, its Lil Kim: Countdown to Lockdown), but if you saw it, let me know your thoughts....
Well, today, he took on a new issue: Bill O'Reilly. Apparently Bill met Al Sharpton for lunch at Sylvia's, the soul food restaurant in Harlem. Bill made comments to the effect that "black people are beginning to think for themselves, people were sitting quietly, ordering, and noone was yelling mother f..." In other words, he was impressed that he didn't witness black folks acting a fool in the restaurant. Kindof an inverted compliment? So anyway, Michael asked his listeners to call Fox an invite Bill O'Reilly to come onto the Michael Baisden show. hilarious. At last listen, the Fox operators were answering the phone and simply hanging up. So, I am going to tune in to hear the outcome.
Also, I watched the Little Rock 9 HBO show tonight. SOOOOOOOO depressing. It is so easy to forget life outside of the Beltway, how the rest of the world lives. They featured a sophomore mother of two. Another little girl, no kids and honor student, trying hard, but her living conditions were: sad. I spent every summer of my preteen life in Little Rock, the stories and the living only showed one side, of course, but it was real. real. real.
Did anyone see the BET hip hop vs. america show. I can't get over my anti BET sentiment enough to watch it (unless, of course, its Lil Kim: Countdown to Lockdown), but if you saw it, let me know your thoughts....
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Aretha?
Is Aretha Franklin serious. Now, I am hoping that gossip radio misquoted her, but apparently she was not pleased with the suggestion that Jennifer Hudson play her in an upcoming film of her life. Who does she want to represent her? Halle Berry. Seriously.
Now if that is tru, it is proof that Michael Jackson is not the only one slightly removed from reality. Why would Aretha be offended at the thought of a thick sister, a chocolate woman playing her and, instead want Halle. I am not really a Jennifer Hudson fan, but I understand why folks would think of her. Do you think of Aretha when you see Halle. Now, lets be fair, I didn't see Denzel and Malcolm until the movie. ANd her rocked it. I didn't see Lynn Whitfield as Josephine. But she rocked it.
I guess, on some level, we have all noticed that Aretha has a bit of a swollen ego. I have noticed her treat people very poorly. She takes diva to another level. And noone has told her that she is the size of a mini 18 wheeler. But does she really see herself as Halle. And if so, what soes that say about her idead of self beauty, of self acceptance, of self love. Maybe I am reaching but....the radio host made a great analogy - asking Halle to play Aretha is like aksing Eminiem to play Christopher Wallace (Biggie). It just don't work.
And, my big entertainment snafu of the week. Was 50 cent serious when he challenged Kanye. I get the concept. He is a real rapper, Kanye - not so much. So yes, hip hop purists will support him over Kanye. But how many hip hop purists are there really. And who it the buying market. White teens. KAny is a safer bet for a parent, a well respected musician, easy music. A rapper - well, I think one of his lyrics in "Wait Till I Get My Money Right" answeres that. Something about "using collagen, ....have you apologen." Uh, no! But 50 - what are thinking.
So, will this be another retired but back JayZ move. And can we ever say what we mean and mean what we say. I don't want to 50 go though, not because I am a huge fan, or a fan at all, but because without him we might be subjected to Ja Rules singing again...
Now if that is tru, it is proof that Michael Jackson is not the only one slightly removed from reality. Why would Aretha be offended at the thought of a thick sister, a chocolate woman playing her and, instead want Halle. I am not really a Jennifer Hudson fan, but I understand why folks would think of her. Do you think of Aretha when you see Halle. Now, lets be fair, I didn't see Denzel and Malcolm until the movie. ANd her rocked it. I didn't see Lynn Whitfield as Josephine. But she rocked it.
I guess, on some level, we have all noticed that Aretha has a bit of a swollen ego. I have noticed her treat people very poorly. She takes diva to another level. And noone has told her that she is the size of a mini 18 wheeler. But does she really see herself as Halle. And if so, what soes that say about her idead of self beauty, of self acceptance, of self love. Maybe I am reaching but....the radio host made a great analogy - asking Halle to play Aretha is like aksing Eminiem to play Christopher Wallace (Biggie). It just don't work.
And, my big entertainment snafu of the week. Was 50 cent serious when he challenged Kanye. I get the concept. He is a real rapper, Kanye - not so much. So yes, hip hop purists will support him over Kanye. But how many hip hop purists are there really. And who it the buying market. White teens. KAny is a safer bet for a parent, a well respected musician, easy music. A rapper - well, I think one of his lyrics in "Wait Till I Get My Money Right" answeres that. Something about "using collagen, ....have you apologen." Uh, no! But 50 - what are thinking.
So, will this be another retired but back JayZ move. And can we ever say what we mean and mean what we say. I don't want to 50 go though, not because I am a huge fan, or a fan at all, but because without him we might be subjected to Ja Rules singing again...
Sunday, September 16, 2007
New Cover
I wanted to share the latest cover by phenomenal artist Rachel Lindley. She did the covers for three of the four poetry books (I have to see if she can convert the fourth one). But check out this cover "remix" - her creations!!
I luv it:
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I luv it:
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Updates, again
Thank you for all the birthday wishes- it meant so much to receive so much input and feedback. I had no idea so many people read this blog!!! I am very humbled by it, actually. I might have to start being a little more responsible with what I am putting out there, huh.
1. So, latest updates. Although this blog is under one of my pseudonyms, and I try not to mix my writing by only announcing my progress on works by a.Kai, versus my other names and psuedos, I have to announce that True Vol. 2 is finally published. I am thrilled. I submitted a short story about one of God's miracles in my life and it is the second story in the compilation (p. 27 to be exact), which was compiled and edited by Irene Dunlap, coauthor of Chicken Soup for the Soul. So, please ask for it in bookstores.
1. So, latest updates. Although this blog is under one of my pseudonyms, and I try not to mix my writing by only announcing my progress on works by a.Kai, versus my other names and psuedos, I have to announce that True Vol. 2 is finally published. I am thrilled. I submitted a short story about one of God's miracles in my life and it is the second story in the compilation (p. 27 to be exact), which was compiled and edited by Irene Dunlap, coauthor of Chicken Soup for the Soul. So, please ask for it in bookstores.
2. Back to a.Kai stuff - I submitted 5 poems to the latest poetry anthology to be release by Poetic Press, an imprint of XPress Yourself Publishing. All five were accepted - yeah!!! THe anthology is due out September 24. Please request it at bookstores, it should be in all of the local stores, but just in case, your requests mean alot.<
3. Last night I went to Karibu to ask for another anthology in which I one of my stories is included (the name of which I cannot release in the same post as True - it would be kinda tacky). So anyway, as I was standing there I over heard two black woman discussing books. While I knew that street lit had taken over, I wasn't prepared for this discussion. They pointed out books from a number of street lit publishers (skipping over Coldest Winter ever, I might add - a street lit classic, genre creating masterpiece). Then, one happened to spot a book by Connie Briscoe. The Connie Briscoe. "Uhmph, her stuff just doesn't cut it for me. She is too dry" Huh? They went on to dis every Black literature foundation writer as they touted the greatness of titles such as "Straight up Gold Digga" and "My woman, his wife."
Now, I don't want to be a literary snob, but what is happening, exactly? After they left, the few sistas in the store and I started having a heart to heart about our people and the street lit crave. I didn't realize that for some it is the "only" acceptable interesting reading material. I am trying not to judge, I mean, ....The whole experience left me sad and more worried about our folks.
3. My church opened its doors to a new gorgeous facility today. And while some may have encountered parking problems and other nightmares, which isn't that unusual, I had a great day. But while I was there this sista in front of me had a child who made some noise a few times. I am a mom, so I really wasn't paying much attention, I just noticed baby boy crying loudly a couple of times. BUT, everytime he cried the "holy" women sitting in front of her shot her the nastiest "take that child outta here" looks. What is with people? Obviously, she had pressed to be there, it isn't easy fighting to get to church with a child in the 12-18 month range. And she heard him crying and tried to attend to him. But these ghetto bamma ignorant rude nasty people would turn full around in their chair, as if her baby child were the most offensive thing there. She left, preferring to sit in the hall that continue under hostile scrutiny. And I attempted to offer her a hand, but I could tell by that point she was completely offended. And I don't blame her, because I have been in that role so many times. I have so many emotions about that situation, because the folks looking were older and obviously childless. Once they ran her out of church, they turned around, right back into "holy women" role nodding their hands and clapping with the pastor. Obviously missing the entire point of the message. While being childless may give them some reason to sit on their high horse and scrutinize, they are also the ones missing out. Enuff said.
4. Speaking of children, my girlfriend brought her baby girl by to see us. I haven't seen her since baby girl was born. I couldn't visit, because the germ pool that is my household maintained some type of cold, stomach virus, pink eye nonesense the first two months of baby girls life. She is absolutely beautiful. Just beautiful. I wanted to keep her, until my son said," put her down mom, we don't need any more." But, I have to admit, just holding her led me to a moment of insanity, wanting just one more. (I have five- so I really am tripping). But, what a blessing.
SO I have a number of things on the horizon. In total I am in 3 books in bookstores and 10 anthologies and compilations. I am shopping one novel and drafting another novel for a publishing company. I have been tremendously blessed.
5. I don't think I am doing NANOWRIMO this year. But please, those of you who are, keep me posted on your progress.
Talk to you soon
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
9/11
Well today is my birthday. Yep, I am a 9/11 baby. And birthday's haven't always been a big deal or a deal of any kind for me, but I always tried to wish myself a happy day and at least keep my spirits up. But 9/11 has made that impossible. I have reflected on that date before - shared with you how I was minutes from the White House when they vacated and then we could see the smoke from the Pentagon. More than the actual destruction was the realization that I was going to die and the helpessness that follows. My baby girl was three, my sone was 12.
So, I am glad and thankful to see another year. I thank God for my children, my husband, my marriage, my life. Our health. But these are things I pray about daily. I thank God that my oldest son is finding his way to manhood safely and heathily and devloping into someone that I am so proud of. But, again, this is a daily prayer.
So what makes this day different? Well, this day is harder for me because more memories unfold, more pain comein along with the joy.
Waiting for my father to pick me up and him never showing. Reminding him of this day and realizing, after having waited all day, that he wasn't coming. I am not angry or upset, but those experiences leave a deepseeded painful ache that stretches its muscle around this time. September was the worse month for a teacher's salary, my birthday fell right before the first pay. So, it was rarely celebrated beyond a card. Which made me sad every year, but I would fight it, be brave and smile and pretend everything was alrite.
So, I watch the memorial events and feel that depression, bringng me back to my own sad thoughts. But then I try ot stay happy and thankful. Making 9/11 a tumultuous day of joy and pain for me.....
So, I am glad and thankful to see another year. I thank God for my children, my husband, my marriage, my life. Our health. But these are things I pray about daily. I thank God that my oldest son is finding his way to manhood safely and heathily and devloping into someone that I am so proud of. But, again, this is a daily prayer.
So what makes this day different? Well, this day is harder for me because more memories unfold, more pain comein along with the joy.
Waiting for my father to pick me up and him never showing. Reminding him of this day and realizing, after having waited all day, that he wasn't coming. I am not angry or upset, but those experiences leave a deepseeded painful ache that stretches its muscle around this time. September was the worse month for a teacher's salary, my birthday fell right before the first pay. So, it was rarely celebrated beyond a card. Which made me sad every year, but I would fight it, be brave and smile and pretend everything was alrite.
So, I watch the memorial events and feel that depression, bringng me back to my own sad thoughts. But then I try ot stay happy and thankful. Making 9/11 a tumultuous day of joy and pain for me.....
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Michael Vick
I haven't posted all month - how is that possible. I am so so sorry! I have had a million things I wanted to share, but could never get to a computer before a million new thoughts took over (smile)!
Alright. Point #1. Michael Vick. Can I say it again. Michael Vick. Now, it is obvious I have a tremendous crush on Mr. Sexy Chocolate. But I won't bore you with the details of that and other fantasies right now. Let's talk about the dogfighting.
I love animals, simply adore dogs. Do I love dogs more than humans. No? Do I want to see Mr. Vicks entire life be streipped because of his "cruel and inhumane" activity. No. Let me back up:
The first question I want to address is the one I hear by many of my black professionals, who seem repulsed by Mike's very name now. "How could he be so cruel?" They ask. Let me answer from my own experience.
When dealing with someone who lived in extreme poverty, their baseline for unsavory activity may differ slightly from the sterile suburban America. Most people, innercity poor or suburban wealthy abhor dogfighting, as do I. However, I know for a fact that many young black men who are attempting to live life without selling drugs turn to dogfighting as a more honest way of living. I'll stop and let that one marinate. Now, I am not saying I agree with it, it just is the way it is. That said, I know the area Mr. Vick grew up in, and I can tell you that dogfighting is, undoubtedly, another hustle for some trying to stay out of the game.
For that reason, I don't turn up my nose that he may not be as sensitive to it as most of us. However, once he became a millionaire, why stay involved? Is it really that impossible to leave the ghetto in the ghetto? I don't know. And I don't want to speak to that. What I do know is that I hate to see this young black man lose everything over this. Are we attempting to rehabilitate him, or simply strip him of everything he has? And why? Why is he banned from the league prior to having ever made a plea or having his case tried. Why is he guilty before being proven innocent?
You know how this goes. When they questioned his buddies they said, in any variety of terms, "we don't want you, we want Vick. So you should plea." And plea they did. But prior to both Mr. Vick's plea and the pleas filed by his "friends," the media and the league already determined his guilt, labelled him filth, and set about to destroy everything that he has accomplished. I think it is a bit much for dog fighting charges.
If he fought dogs and ruthlessly killed them once he was a multmillionaire, then there is an issue there that needs to be addressed. As far as I am concerned, he can handle that with his psychologist. He should probably be fined and have to serve some community service. Dog related, of course. Also, dog fighters love their dogs, so I doubt that Mike is an animal hater.
I really don't understand why it goes much farther than that. High profile pedophiles (Woody Allen), wife beaters (random athletes that I won't name), child molesters, etc...just seem to be a different level of criminal than a dog fighter, don't they? Why is the NFL treating Michael Vick like he is Ray Caruth? Lets see, have your pregnant girlfriend shot in the stomach and attempt to make it look like random violence, fight dogs. Hmmmmm. Maybe I am missing something here, please feel free to add your two cents....
Alright. Point #1. Michael Vick. Can I say it again. Michael Vick. Now, it is obvious I have a tremendous crush on Mr. Sexy Chocolate. But I won't bore you with the details of that and other fantasies right now. Let's talk about the dogfighting.
I love animals, simply adore dogs. Do I love dogs more than humans. No? Do I want to see Mr. Vicks entire life be streipped because of his "cruel and inhumane" activity. No. Let me back up:
The first question I want to address is the one I hear by many of my black professionals, who seem repulsed by Mike's very name now. "How could he be so cruel?" They ask. Let me answer from my own experience.
When dealing with someone who lived in extreme poverty, their baseline for unsavory activity may differ slightly from the sterile suburban America. Most people, innercity poor or suburban wealthy abhor dogfighting, as do I. However, I know for a fact that many young black men who are attempting to live life without selling drugs turn to dogfighting as a more honest way of living. I'll stop and let that one marinate. Now, I am not saying I agree with it, it just is the way it is. That said, I know the area Mr. Vick grew up in, and I can tell you that dogfighting is, undoubtedly, another hustle for some trying to stay out of the game.
For that reason, I don't turn up my nose that he may not be as sensitive to it as most of us. However, once he became a millionaire, why stay involved? Is it really that impossible to leave the ghetto in the ghetto? I don't know. And I don't want to speak to that. What I do know is that I hate to see this young black man lose everything over this. Are we attempting to rehabilitate him, or simply strip him of everything he has? And why? Why is he banned from the league prior to having ever made a plea or having his case tried. Why is he guilty before being proven innocent?
You know how this goes. When they questioned his buddies they said, in any variety of terms, "we don't want you, we want Vick. So you should plea." And plea they did. But prior to both Mr. Vick's plea and the pleas filed by his "friends," the media and the league already determined his guilt, labelled him filth, and set about to destroy everything that he has accomplished. I think it is a bit much for dog fighting charges.
If he fought dogs and ruthlessly killed them once he was a multmillionaire, then there is an issue there that needs to be addressed. As far as I am concerned, he can handle that with his psychologist. He should probably be fined and have to serve some community service. Dog related, of course. Also, dog fighters love their dogs, so I doubt that Mike is an animal hater.
I really don't understand why it goes much farther than that. High profile pedophiles (Woody Allen), wife beaters (random athletes that I won't name), child molesters, etc...just seem to be a different level of criminal than a dog fighter, don't they? Why is the NFL treating Michael Vick like he is Ray Caruth? Lets see, have your pregnant girlfriend shot in the stomach and attempt to make it look like random violence, fight dogs. Hmmmmm. Maybe I am missing something here, please feel free to add your two cents....
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Emotions
Emotions can be debilitating - controlling. On e moment I am feeling fine, the next I am sad. Sadness, I hate it. It is such a liar, such a depressing emotion, especially when there is no reason to be sad. And I always wonder, around this time, why my emotions are jumping around, nosediving and flying - every month I forget that this is what I go through, how my body carries out is womanly restoration. These emotions can be so , so difficult.
My feelings were hurt today. Not by a word anyone that I actually know said. Nope - my feelings were hurt becuase someone didn't say something I expected them to, which unraveled a whole swirl of self doubt, what if and why nots, because a strangers tongue didn't take the path I expected. Isn't that silly. I almost started not to write tonite. Definitely too emotional. But I forced my self to the computer-with pad and pen by my side for other revelations tha tI record on paper and not via internet-and here I sit, affecting someone who was completely fine until they read this depressing, pathetic post.
So sorry, I will keep my sadness to myself from now on (if I can contain it!!)
My feelings were hurt today. Not by a word anyone that I actually know said. Nope - my feelings were hurt becuase someone didn't say something I expected them to, which unraveled a whole swirl of self doubt, what if and why nots, because a strangers tongue didn't take the path I expected. Isn't that silly. I almost started not to write tonite. Definitely too emotional. But I forced my self to the computer-with pad and pen by my side for other revelations tha tI record on paper and not via internet-and here I sit, affecting someone who was completely fine until they read this depressing, pathetic post.
So sorry, I will keep my sadness to myself from now on (if I can contain it!!)
Monday, August 06, 2007
Tidbits, Again
ALright - I went to see the Bourne Ultimatum. Matt Damon is phenomenal. I mean, his transformation into the Jason Bourne character is so complete that I have to force myself to remember that he is just a character.
Which leads to some self revelation of mine - I have always been attracted to that Jason Bourne distant, doesn't talk too much, very confident, physically astute, not too many friends, not too social type of man, but very comforting to have on your side and very intimate type of man. Interesting.....I am going to leave that topic alone fore now, before I get into trouble.
Secondly, Diddy did it to me again. I sat down and watch an entire hour of television tonite. 1 whole hour. I rarely waste time like that unless, of course, it is one of my favorites like the Wire, Sopranos, or basically any HBO Sunday night series. But anyway, I gave it up, to see Diddy be his wonderful best and carve out a band. After much suspense and an obviously painful session of trying to judge, he did something I never thought I would see. Diddy backed down. Simply walked away. Said, "forget it," let the fans decide. Which annoyed me because, with the exception of our cousin being in the finals, I watch the show for Diddy and all his distant, rude, clever Diddiness. So, I was more than upset that I didn't get to see his aloof deciding brilliance - but I will watch the finale. Highlite of the show - making the two braided brothas get much needed haircuts. Double Highlight - when the one boy with braides had glitter all over him and Diddy kept telling him, you got seom glitter on your forehead, right there...If you didn't know, Diddy was just clowning....Hilarious
Thirdly, I caught Kimora Lee's show yesterday. I know that this is unexpected but - I adore Kimora Lee Simmons. She has taken beauty and its definition to another level and, similar to the Devil Wears Prada, while it may not seem all that important to the rest of us with real issues, like paying the bills, Kimora does take fashion very serious and it begins to make since when oyu watch her long enough. She is the most ICONIC mother I have even seen. Flyyy for lack of a better word. With baby girls in tow. How could you not love it?
She has picked up a banner to represent multicultural ethnic look in a way that black folks don't seem to do so often. I LOVED when she went off on the Barbie lady. She was like - NO IT IS GOING TO BE CALLED KIMORA BARBIE. YOU ALL KEEP TRYIN TO TAKE BARBIE OFF OF IT, BUT LITTLE GIRLS NEED TO KNOW THAT THEY CAN BE BARBIE AND NOT HER LITTLE SIDE KICK. The Barbie rep wanted to choke. GO AHEAD KIMORA. I luv you for that one! Her other quote of the night was on being a mama - "my girls are permanent, they are here with me no matter what. Everything else comes and goes, money, clothes, cars, homes and husbands. But my girls will be right here." Spoken like a tru sister who is working life for all that its worth.....
Which leads to some self revelation of mine - I have always been attracted to that Jason Bourne distant, doesn't talk too much, very confident, physically astute, not too many friends, not too social type of man, but very comforting to have on your side and very intimate type of man. Interesting.....I am going to leave that topic alone fore now, before I get into trouble.
Secondly, Diddy did it to me again. I sat down and watch an entire hour of television tonite. 1 whole hour. I rarely waste time like that unless, of course, it is one of my favorites like the Wire, Sopranos, or basically any HBO Sunday night series. But anyway, I gave it up, to see Diddy be his wonderful best and carve out a band. After much suspense and an obviously painful session of trying to judge, he did something I never thought I would see. Diddy backed down. Simply walked away. Said, "forget it," let the fans decide. Which annoyed me because, with the exception of our cousin being in the finals, I watch the show for Diddy and all his distant, rude, clever Diddiness. So, I was more than upset that I didn't get to see his aloof deciding brilliance - but I will watch the finale. Highlite of the show - making the two braided brothas get much needed haircuts. Double Highlight - when the one boy with braides had glitter all over him and Diddy kept telling him, you got seom glitter on your forehead, right there...If you didn't know, Diddy was just clowning....Hilarious
Thirdly, I caught Kimora Lee's show yesterday. I know that this is unexpected but - I adore Kimora Lee Simmons. She has taken beauty and its definition to another level and, similar to the Devil Wears Prada, while it may not seem all that important to the rest of us with real issues, like paying the bills, Kimora does take fashion very serious and it begins to make since when oyu watch her long enough. She is the most ICONIC mother I have even seen. Flyyy for lack of a better word. With baby girls in tow. How could you not love it?
She has picked up a banner to represent multicultural ethnic look in a way that black folks don't seem to do so often. I LOVED when she went off on the Barbie lady. She was like - NO IT IS GOING TO BE CALLED KIMORA BARBIE. YOU ALL KEEP TRYIN TO TAKE BARBIE OFF OF IT, BUT LITTLE GIRLS NEED TO KNOW THAT THEY CAN BE BARBIE AND NOT HER LITTLE SIDE KICK. The Barbie rep wanted to choke. GO AHEAD KIMORA. I luv you for that one! Her other quote of the night was on being a mama - "my girls are permanent, they are here with me no matter what. Everything else comes and goes, money, clothes, cars, homes and husbands. But my girls will be right here." Spoken like a tru sister who is working life for all that its worth.....
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Traveling
We did some serious traveling over the past few days. I am actually exhausted - but i couldn't wait to get back to my lap top and capture the smallest details.
Desitination 1: Chicago. Well, not quite. We actually went to Evanston Ill, via Chicago, to visit Northwestern University. Now, football is opening doors and opportunities for my son that I never guessed, but I actually felt honored that Northwestern is interested. What a BEAUTIFUL campus. It is stunning. And, there is a beach on the edge of campus. Not just a waterfront - I can feel my Hampton folks ready to defend - but this is beach for real! Who woulda thunk it. Right there in Illinois.
We stayed the night in downtown Evanston (a block from campus). The plan was to take a nap then go to Chicago and visit China Town, Nike Town, and a number of other places. We all passed out. I woke up at 9, my girls were still snoring. I had promised them the pool, so I woke them so they could get in an hour or so of splashing fun.
Destination 2: Eastern Michigan U. Which was located in Ypsialnti Michigan. Nuff said.
Destination 3: Detroit. Lee Family Reunion. Over 100 folks made it this years, from everywhere - little rock, kansas city (huge amount of family there), houston, new york, california, ohio, etc... I wasn't sure we were going to make it, and I hadn't paid my reunion dues, but I am so glad we caught the tail end. Whenever I see my family I am overwhelmed that I am part of such a tremendous group of people. It was a blessing.
Destination 4: Lousiville. But on the way, we stopped at Bowling Green University in Ohio. Very nice. Lousiville. Fantastic campus and facilities. Do you know the dorm has a pool and grill for the students. It was unbelievable. But, we also went to the Muhammad Ali museum. My son is in one of the movies that plays through the museum. What a phenomenal place, what a unique experience. What a blessing! I am telling you, there is nothing more touching than this museum. The extended it past his life and used his life as the focal point for all the change and societal shifts that were occurring. This museum is an in depth study into African American life past and present. Martin and Malcolm and so many others are a very real part of this museum. It was a phenomenal experience. The staff recognized my son and took pictures and his info. It was a blessing
Final Destination: Lexington. visited UK. Very nice. But I was tired and had a stomachache by then.
Desitination 1: Chicago. Well, not quite. We actually went to Evanston Ill, via Chicago, to visit Northwestern University. Now, football is opening doors and opportunities for my son that I never guessed, but I actually felt honored that Northwestern is interested. What a BEAUTIFUL campus. It is stunning. And, there is a beach on the edge of campus. Not just a waterfront - I can feel my Hampton folks ready to defend - but this is beach for real! Who woulda thunk it. Right there in Illinois.
We stayed the night in downtown Evanston (a block from campus). The plan was to take a nap then go to Chicago and visit China Town, Nike Town, and a number of other places. We all passed out. I woke up at 9, my girls were still snoring. I had promised them the pool, so I woke them so they could get in an hour or so of splashing fun.
Destination 2: Eastern Michigan U. Which was located in Ypsialnti Michigan. Nuff said.
Destination 3: Detroit. Lee Family Reunion. Over 100 folks made it this years, from everywhere - little rock, kansas city (huge amount of family there), houston, new york, california, ohio, etc... I wasn't sure we were going to make it, and I hadn't paid my reunion dues, but I am so glad we caught the tail end. Whenever I see my family I am overwhelmed that I am part of such a tremendous group of people. It was a blessing.
Destination 4: Lousiville. But on the way, we stopped at Bowling Green University in Ohio. Very nice. Lousiville. Fantastic campus and facilities. Do you know the dorm has a pool and grill for the students. It was unbelievable. But, we also went to the Muhammad Ali museum. My son is in one of the movies that plays through the museum. What a phenomenal place, what a unique experience. What a blessing! I am telling you, there is nothing more touching than this museum. The extended it past his life and used his life as the focal point for all the change and societal shifts that were occurring. This museum is an in depth study into African American life past and present. Martin and Malcolm and so many others are a very real part of this museum. It was a phenomenal experience. The staff recognized my son and took pictures and his info. It was a blessing
Final Destination: Lexington. visited UK. Very nice. But I was tired and had a stomachache by then.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Harry Potter -
I want to say to J. K. Rowling that the pleasure has been all mine. The introduction, the glimpse into the development of Harry, of the Wizarding world, were all my pleasure. And it is with many thanks that I depart from the Harry tale and move forward into creating fantasy worlds of my own.
Explaining the appeal or magnetism of Harry Potter is rather impossible. Under no circumstances should a little rich boy orphan tie into anything recognizable in my world. But Ms. Rowling creates a universe in which she fully examines the themes of love, sacrifice, loyalty, bravery, intelligence, learning - purely for the sake of and not for cash, supporting, friendship. And in so doing, she creates a rare dichotomy of adventure within a purly humanistic story. The evil that Harry, the Order, Professor McDonogol (my favorite) and the Hogwarts staff and students, fight is all consuming, overwhelming and without fail. She recreates the environment of World War II Nazi, the helpless inhuman cruelty of slavery, the unbelievalbe infallible righteousness of evil murders, the sloven worship of the sinister becuase of misplaced loyalty and no self esteem. Rowlings takes apart each one of this, examines it, puts it to the fire, rubs it until it sparkles, then sets it into a framework in which you can easily absorb it.
Most fascinating, however, is Ms. Rowlings decision to give us an actual ending. Not a drawn out collision, or failure to address so many issues, as most series, HP 7 finally answers all of the questions, in complete and full detail. Leaving the journey well worth the wait.
As I finished devouring Book 7 - sadly, it took my two days, it occurred to me that I have just experienced a rare thing. It is once in a century that a classic is born, a timeless tale that will be passed down through the ages. And I was alive during this one, I was allowed to share in its anticipation and reading, in understanding the development of a character soon after it was written, in waiting for its first release to the masses. Therefore, I thank you , Ms. rowling but, I must insist, the pleaure has been all mine.
Explaining the appeal or magnetism of Harry Potter is rather impossible. Under no circumstances should a little rich boy orphan tie into anything recognizable in my world. But Ms. Rowling creates a universe in which she fully examines the themes of love, sacrifice, loyalty, bravery, intelligence, learning - purely for the sake of and not for cash, supporting, friendship. And in so doing, she creates a rare dichotomy of adventure within a purly humanistic story. The evil that Harry, the Order, Professor McDonogol (my favorite) and the Hogwarts staff and students, fight is all consuming, overwhelming and without fail. She recreates the environment of World War II Nazi, the helpless inhuman cruelty of slavery, the unbelievalbe infallible righteousness of evil murders, the sloven worship of the sinister becuase of misplaced loyalty and no self esteem. Rowlings takes apart each one of this, examines it, puts it to the fire, rubs it until it sparkles, then sets it into a framework in which you can easily absorb it.
Most fascinating, however, is Ms. Rowlings decision to give us an actual ending. Not a drawn out collision, or failure to address so many issues, as most series, HP 7 finally answers all of the questions, in complete and full detail. Leaving the journey well worth the wait.
As I finished devouring Book 7 - sadly, it took my two days, it occurred to me that I have just experienced a rare thing. It is once in a century that a classic is born, a timeless tale that will be passed down through the ages. And I was alive during this one, I was allowed to share in its anticipation and reading, in understanding the development of a character soon after it was written, in waiting for its first release to the masses. Therefore, I thank you , Ms. rowling but, I must insist, the pleaure has been all mine.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Guest Column
What do you do with forbidden love? Love that you don't want to exist? Do you just swallow it down, hope that it will form into a ball at the pitof your stomach and disappear? Or do you give completely over to the flesh - worry about the ramifications later?
Issues on my mind over the last few days. Writing it out, but can't get the characters to feel right, can't seem to capture that unspoken emotion in an authentic way. Tryin to reminisce on my own loves to recreate the emotion, but its difficult. So I am kinda frustrated...
In other news - I am very excited that I have been asked to script a guest column for
I am not sure of the topic for the column - but I will keep you posted. The Magazine is hot or *Fiyah* as my poetic homeboy would say. Check it out at Noire Magazine.
Issues on my mind over the last few days. Writing it out, but can't get the characters to feel right, can't seem to capture that unspoken emotion in an authentic way. Tryin to reminisce on my own loves to recreate the emotion, but its difficult. So I am kinda frustrated...
In other news - I am very excited that I have been asked to script a guest column for
I am not sure of the topic for the column - but I will keep you posted. The Magazine is hot or *Fiyah* as my poetic homeboy would say. Check it out at Noire Magazine.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
The Write Vibe
Besides having to deal with my blog being invaded and my consideration to dismantle it, then my decision not to, I had a great day. I was listed as a spotlight artist at RAWSISTAZ. But, I am also a feartured poet at THE WRITE VIBE, a new emagazine - wonderful job Kisha!
So check it out when you have a chance.
So check it out when you have a chance.
Spotlighted Artist
I just found out that I am a spotlighted poet/author on RAWSISTAZ Book Club. Go check it out at RAWSISTAZ and tell me what you think....
Rawsistaz is a national bookclub founded by Tee C Royal. The site speaks for itself, hosting latest releases, an indepth repository of book reviews, updates on the latest happenings in the book world, etc...It was very kind of Ms. Royal to list me among the spotlighted artist...I am very thankful.
Rawsistaz is a national bookclub founded by Tee C Royal. The site speaks for itself, hosting latest releases, an indepth repository of book reviews, updates on the latest happenings in the book world, etc...It was very kind of Ms. Royal to list me among the spotlighted artist...I am very thankful.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
New Review In
Updates:
I almost forgot. Intimate Musings
was recently reviewed by APOOO Bookclub. I received the review today. It was wonderful. Please, check the review out at discoverkai.com or at amazon.com.
I almost forgot. Intimate Musings
was recently reviewed by APOOO Bookclub. I received the review today. It was wonderful. Please, check the review out at discoverkai.com or at amazon.com.
Calm, Pleasant, Comfortable
4th of July. I made it to another one. I remeber one year I was pregnant and miserable on the 4th, cuz the electric company had a shortage in our entire neighborhood. No electricity on the 4th, 5th and 6. And I was one week away from delivering a 10lb baby. Miserable, miserable, miserable. I laid on the basement floor to stay cool. We finally went to a hotel.
Anutha 4th we had the time of our lives. In N.O. at the essence festival - pre Katrina. My uncle and family lived there then, had the hook up to all the hot spots. We were partying, drinking (me and cousin), dancing, laughing, just living it up... The N.O. - whewww, nothin like it! MY husband even enjoyed himself, laughing at us acting a fool.
The 4th is two days after my wedding anniversary. So the mood of the anniversary always dictates how this holiday is going to play. Some years our anniversary is a thunderstorm, the 4 just the added lightning. Other times our anniversary is puresunshine, the 4th bringin in the grand finale fireworks.
This year made ten years married. We have been together much longer, but ten years bound to that ring, through the very goods and the hella unbelievable bads. This anniversary was calm, pleasant, comfortable. And, thats how this 4th is turning out...
Anutha 4th we had the time of our lives. In N.O. at the essence festival - pre Katrina. My uncle and family lived there then, had the hook up to all the hot spots. We were partying, drinking (me and cousin), dancing, laughing, just living it up... The N.O. - whewww, nothin like it! MY husband even enjoyed himself, laughing at us acting a fool.
The 4th is two days after my wedding anniversary. So the mood of the anniversary always dictates how this holiday is going to play. Some years our anniversary is a thunderstorm, the 4 just the added lightning. Other times our anniversary is puresunshine, the 4th bringin in the grand finale fireworks.
This year made ten years married. We have been together much longer, but ten years bound to that ring, through the very goods and the hella unbelievable bads. This anniversary was calm, pleasant, comfortable. And, thats how this 4th is turning out...
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Queen of the Kirk
My feelings were hurt today, ya'll. Seriously hurt. I was chitchatting with my son, talking about all the things he has going on, and he started telling me that I am the "kirk" queen - his expression for going off on him. Apparently, he believes that I "kirk" on him daily, to the extent that when I call his cell phone his friends sigh and say, "go ahead and get kirked on."
WHAT!!!
Now, this is upsetting to me because, first of all, I don't like to "kirk." I hate having to be that person. To tell him when his shix stinks and correct him when he's wrong. But my goal is to raise him, and try to instill some basic lessons. And when does he get "kirked" on ? - when he has does something ludicrous, which, unfortunately, has seemed like a daily event lately.
Example one: I returned home from work last week. It was blazing, I was exhausted, hungry, had to empty my bladder in a serious way and, I was locked out. To make matters worse, I had no gas (see example three for this explanation) so I was stuck. I rang the doorbell at leats twenty times, tapped at all the doors and windows. House was empty. So I took off my suit jacket and heels and roasted in the garage in my football field chair. Fell asleep. Got eaten up by mosquitoes. Family returned two hours later. Entered the house and began to prepare dinner. got worried, cuz my son still ahdn't asnwered his phone or checked in, he shoulda been home hours ago. Called again on my cell -this time he answered. Where are you? I asked. In my room. he answered. In your room? since when. All afternoon, I was asleep, he responded.
Example two: I asked him to help watch my daughter while I ran upstairs to prepare her bath. Within 30 second, I heard MTV videos. Do I have a problem with him watching videos, well yeah and no. I get it, understand at this age I have to let go and I leave him alone. Do I want my baby girl exposed to the booty shaking nonesense at this age. Hell no. Did I say something. hell yes - cuz when he was little, I didn't let his precious eyes be exposed to bullcrap either. Did he consider that an unreasonable "kirk" - of course.
Example three: I give him my vehicle without problems. I want him to enjoy his social life, this time in his life will never happen again. Did he take the $50 I gave him and put gas in the car. No. When did I discover this? On my way to work - late and penniless with the "out of gas" beep ringing in my ear. Did I say something, yes. Unreasonable "kirk" to him. Yes
Example four: After two days with my car, I request he help me take the family to a kiddie party. It sucks. I know. But I desperately need the help. And, I hoped he wouldn't mind. His back stiffened and he rolled his eyes. COmplained. Why did he have to get stuck? He didn't ask to have all these kids? HUH? I need help, I try to accommodate him in every way, when I ask for help he acts like this? DId I tell him he was wrong. Yes. Did he add that to the list of "kirksome." ofcourse.
It goes on and on. I let alot of little stuff go. But, for me to be painted the most "kirksome" parent of all, in light of all of the major stuff he has done (which I won't embarass him and put out there) hurts. Alot. And I mean, alot.
I am sorry that he sees me that way....So, without having a pity party, I am feeling like a failure of a parent tonite. No need to comment to this post, I am not lookin for sympathy - just sharing. When you sacrifice so much and love so hard and protect so truly, it hurts very deep to know that your love is nothing more a nagging "kirk" to the exasperation of he and his friends.(Of course, I will never tell him that, though, I just kept it rolling)
WHAT!!!
Now, this is upsetting to me because, first of all, I don't like to "kirk." I hate having to be that person. To tell him when his shix stinks and correct him when he's wrong. But my goal is to raise him, and try to instill some basic lessons. And when does he get "kirked" on ? - when he has does something ludicrous, which, unfortunately, has seemed like a daily event lately.
Example one: I returned home from work last week. It was blazing, I was exhausted, hungry, had to empty my bladder in a serious way and, I was locked out. To make matters worse, I had no gas (see example three for this explanation) so I was stuck. I rang the doorbell at leats twenty times, tapped at all the doors and windows. House was empty. So I took off my suit jacket and heels and roasted in the garage in my football field chair. Fell asleep. Got eaten up by mosquitoes. Family returned two hours later. Entered the house and began to prepare dinner. got worried, cuz my son still ahdn't asnwered his phone or checked in, he shoulda been home hours ago. Called again on my cell -this time he answered. Where are you? I asked. In my room. he answered. In your room? since when. All afternoon, I was asleep, he responded.
Example two: I asked him to help watch my daughter while I ran upstairs to prepare her bath. Within 30 second, I heard MTV videos. Do I have a problem with him watching videos, well yeah and no. I get it, understand at this age I have to let go and I leave him alone. Do I want my baby girl exposed to the booty shaking nonesense at this age. Hell no. Did I say something. hell yes - cuz when he was little, I didn't let his precious eyes be exposed to bullcrap either. Did he consider that an unreasonable "kirk" - of course.
Example three: I give him my vehicle without problems. I want him to enjoy his social life, this time in his life will never happen again. Did he take the $50 I gave him and put gas in the car. No. When did I discover this? On my way to work - late and penniless with the "out of gas" beep ringing in my ear. Did I say something, yes. Unreasonable "kirk" to him. Yes
Example four: After two days with my car, I request he help me take the family to a kiddie party. It sucks. I know. But I desperately need the help. And, I hoped he wouldn't mind. His back stiffened and he rolled his eyes. COmplained. Why did he have to get stuck? He didn't ask to have all these kids? HUH? I need help, I try to accommodate him in every way, when I ask for help he acts like this? DId I tell him he was wrong. Yes. Did he add that to the list of "kirksome." ofcourse.
It goes on and on. I let alot of little stuff go. But, for me to be painted the most "kirksome" parent of all, in light of all of the major stuff he has done (which I won't embarass him and put out there) hurts. Alot. And I mean, alot.
I am sorry that he sees me that way....So, without having a pity party, I am feeling like a failure of a parent tonite. No need to comment to this post, I am not lookin for sympathy - just sharing. When you sacrifice so much and love so hard and protect so truly, it hurts very deep to know that your love is nothing more a nagging "kirk" to the exasperation of he and his friends.(Of course, I will never tell him that, though, I just kept it rolling)
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Baby Steps
I have wonderful news. A story that I penned is going to be published in a new anthology by XPressYourself Publishing, entitled the Erogenous Zone. I am very excited and happy. This will be my fourth published contribution this year, not including my own works. I'm getting out there, at a slow steady crawl, but spreading nonetheless.
Which means its time for another website. Yep, another one. It is in the works. Actually, I designed most of it last night, although it is still very much under construction you can glimpse the shell at www.opheliapub.com. THis website will be for my publishing company, so it will encompass all of my works, and a couple of other authors - yep, I write under a couple of psuedonyms that even you, my beloved loyal readers, no nothing about (and you wont' find them at ophelia publications either). If I tell you, I'd have to.....naw, just playin. but as a working professional I have to maintain some separation, which is the reason for even the a.kai moniker.
Additionally, five poems were originally created and accepted for publishing in the poetic anthology Step Up To the Mic. Now, if I could just get myself organizd enough to perform some of my poetry, I could get myself out there. Baby steps, though, Baby steps....
SO, when you have a chance, check out my site and let me know your thoughts
Which means its time for another website. Yep, another one. It is in the works. Actually, I designed most of it last night, although it is still very much under construction you can glimpse the shell at www.opheliapub.com. THis website will be for my publishing company, so it will encompass all of my works, and a couple of other authors - yep, I write under a couple of psuedonyms that even you, my beloved loyal readers, no nothing about (and you wont' find them at ophelia publications either). If I tell you, I'd have to.....naw, just playin. but as a working professional I have to maintain some separation, which is the reason for even the a.kai moniker.
Additionally, five poems were originally created and accepted for publishing in the poetic anthology Step Up To the Mic. Now, if I could just get myself organizd enough to perform some of my poetry, I could get myself out there. Baby steps, though, Baby steps....
SO, when you have a chance, check out my site and let me know your thoughts
Friday, June 22, 2007
Advertising
SO, it looks like I am going to make my deadline of "in stores" by August. I don't want to do it this way, but resources are limited, agents are slow to respond, publicist and media experts cost for real money, just when mine is drying up, and I feel anxious. And, yes, I know I should move forward on feeling of anxiousness, but my time is now, my window is opening, starting its semicircle rise, and if I don't jump through it I may miss it....
Check out my latest advertisement if Internal Indulgences
at Blogging In Black
Also, look for Light at the Edge of Darkness in stores and on line.
I will keep you posted.
Check out my latest advertisement if Internal Indulgences
at Blogging In Black
Also, look for Light at the Edge of Darkness in stores and on line.
I will keep you posted.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Puffy Gives Good....
Television. Drama. Excitement. Entertainment. Power. (what did you think I was going to say?) Making the Band 4 debuted tonite. For a glimpse into P. Diddy's world, I woulda watched. For a chance to look at Joe, Mario and an ol crush, M. Bivins, I woulda watched.
But this season, my husbands cousin is participating - and he will make it, have no doubt. You know how you can pick out a star, even when their little. Like when Beyonce first debutted in No No No and took over the entire screen. Or when Janet came out with COntrol (tellin my age). Well, this gentlemen has always shone, has always been a star. Even if somehow Diddy doesn't pick him, he is guaranteed to shine. So Qwanell, we are cheering you on...
Other things I noticed - Wasn't that Julius kid really the singing version of the wild Miami kid from Da Band - Fred, right? He is Fred's equally anguished R&B twin. How is it DC could only find DeAngelo (who was pretty good) and an Asian kid named Sam to represent. Now, I am not dissing the two (Sam was surprisingly soulful) but does DC aka Chocolate City always have to be pathetic in the performing arts department. Come one, millions of black folks, only one can make an R&B talent show? Lauri Ann can dance. I mean, she can do it all. Wasn't Joe more handsome on the show, talkin and chillin, than in his normal videos. I don't know, it coulda just been me, but he was doin it. Did Puffy mention Nsync as an all time great band? Yep. But, luv me some Justin so I let that go. To his credit (I rarely disagree with him) he didn't add Boys from the Back Alley or somethin or other to that list.
Finally, aren't you so glad to see Michael Bivins back to being, well, Michael Bivins. What happened to BBD and the East Coast Family anyway? Wonder how much of that Boyz 2 Men money he is still getting. Guess he didn't have to work after they popped off anyway.
But this season, my husbands cousin is participating - and he will make it, have no doubt. You know how you can pick out a star, even when their little. Like when Beyonce first debutted in No No No and took over the entire screen. Or when Janet came out with COntrol (tellin my age). Well, this gentlemen has always shone, has always been a star. Even if somehow Diddy doesn't pick him, he is guaranteed to shine. So Qwanell, we are cheering you on...
Other things I noticed - Wasn't that Julius kid really the singing version of the wild Miami kid from Da Band - Fred, right? He is Fred's equally anguished R&B twin. How is it DC could only find DeAngelo (who was pretty good) and an Asian kid named Sam to represent. Now, I am not dissing the two (Sam was surprisingly soulful) but does DC aka Chocolate City always have to be pathetic in the performing arts department. Come one, millions of black folks, only one can make an R&B talent show? Lauri Ann can dance. I mean, she can do it all. Wasn't Joe more handsome on the show, talkin and chillin, than in his normal videos. I don't know, it coulda just been me, but he was doin it. Did Puffy mention Nsync as an all time great band? Yep. But, luv me some Justin so I let that go. To his credit (I rarely disagree with him) he didn't add Boys from the Back Alley or somethin or other to that list.
Finally, aren't you so glad to see Michael Bivins back to being, well, Michael Bivins. What happened to BBD and the East Coast Family anyway? Wonder how much of that Boyz 2 Men money he is still getting. Guess he didn't have to work after they popped off anyway.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
David John Bush
DO you know what I did today? While I was grocery shopping and talking on my pathetically ancient cell phone which I refuse to discard until my contract ends and I am eligible for another phone, I grabbed a bok of vanilla wafers.
Vanilla wafers.
And I didn't even think about it until just this moment, while reading a Myspace friends blog (Yasmin/APOOO books). I haven't purchased Vanilla wafers in years.
When I was little, some time immediately following my parents separation/divorce, we lived for a few months in North Little Rock, Ark. Although we spent summers and holidays there, this was the first and only time I actually lived there. And during that period, my grandfather transformed from the man who fell asleep in front of the television, to my rock and strong source of normalcy. He never engaged in the swirl of activity, gossip, discussion...just exercised, worked, cleaned, and exercised some more.
Oh, and one more thing. He picked me up from school. Every day. And we went to the grocery store. Every day. And purchased one box of vanilla wafers. Every day.
We would take that box back to the house to snack on while we watched cartoons and the Three stooges. We didn't talk much, but said what was on our minds. Whereever he was, I wanted to be. And he allowed me to follow behind him, something he grumbled about on a regular basis with others. But his grumbling never really bothered me. I found something safe and comfortable in his presence that I was missing at that time in my life. And it is the base of my center, the security in regularity that allowed me to find daily peace.
So I dedicate this Father's day to my grandfather, David John Bush. I love you.
Vanilla wafers.
And I didn't even think about it until just this moment, while reading a Myspace friends blog (Yasmin/APOOO books). I haven't purchased Vanilla wafers in years.
When I was little, some time immediately following my parents separation/divorce, we lived for a few months in North Little Rock, Ark. Although we spent summers and holidays there, this was the first and only time I actually lived there. And during that period, my grandfather transformed from the man who fell asleep in front of the television, to my rock and strong source of normalcy. He never engaged in the swirl of activity, gossip, discussion...just exercised, worked, cleaned, and exercised some more.
Oh, and one more thing. He picked me up from school. Every day. And we went to the grocery store. Every day. And purchased one box of vanilla wafers. Every day.
We would take that box back to the house to snack on while we watched cartoons and the Three stooges. We didn't talk much, but said what was on our minds. Whereever he was, I wanted to be. And he allowed me to follow behind him, something he grumbled about on a regular basis with others. But his grumbling never really bothered me. I found something safe and comfortable in his presence that I was missing at that time in my life. And it is the base of my center, the security in regularity that allowed me to find daily peace.
So I dedicate this Father's day to my grandfather, David John Bush. I love you.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
A Diamond?
Today was a hard day. An emotional roller coaster. Very difficult, because I am being pressed, under some type of test. And I know that's whats happening, that I just have to maintain the faith and keep my composure, but as deadline's loom near, and the dinero es muy pequeno, it is getting difficult for me to stay focused.
Leading me to ponder, without pity partying. Why is this life so difficult for some, so easy for others. Yeah, I know that what I think is easy may not really be, but its hard for me to swallow that a peer with mommy, daddy, a million in the bank, and every financial concern covered could ever understand me and my childhood of lettuce sandwiches until that teachers salary kicked in September 18. Or me now, trying to stretch each inspiration like a thin rubberband, thinning until it finally bursts. Tryin to make a dent, a mark, without losing ground. And it is not an easy. It is never easy. There is never a connection, a family tie, someone who knows someone, nada....
At the end of the day, the cliches always seem to fit my life. But, hell, how many trials are necessary to pressure this rock into a diamond?
Leading me to ponder, without pity partying. Why is this life so difficult for some, so easy for others. Yeah, I know that what I think is easy may not really be, but its hard for me to swallow that a peer with mommy, daddy, a million in the bank, and every financial concern covered could ever understand me and my childhood of lettuce sandwiches until that teachers salary kicked in September 18. Or me now, trying to stretch each inspiration like a thin rubberband, thinning until it finally bursts. Tryin to make a dent, a mark, without losing ground. And it is not an easy. It is never easy. There is never a connection, a family tie, someone who knows someone, nada....
At the end of the day, the cliches always seem to fit my life. But, hell, how many trials are necessary to pressure this rock into a diamond?
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
When I See You Fantasia
ALright people - can I tell you how much I love Fantasia's new song. Well, not so new anymore, but finally getting main stream play. This song captures that incredible breathless state, love from afar, infatuation by just a look, a glance, it has happened to me so many times....SO anyway, I am posting her video here, so the song can play continuously
Fantasia - When I See You [www.kovideo.net]
Add to My Profile | More Videos
BTW- isn't this the best Fantasia has ever looked - they finally did her right, she musta hired the right stylist. Her hair is flawless, outfit perfect -red shoes to die for. Can I rock those shoes without fallin? - I will certainly try.
Doesn't this song just remind you of .....sigh....love past, lost, or never admitted to? I fall in love so easily, this song must have been written for me....
Fantasia - When I See You [www.kovideo.net]
Add to My Profile | More Videos
BTW- isn't this the best Fantasia has ever looked - they finally did her right, she musta hired the right stylist. Her hair is flawless, outfit perfect -red shoes to die for. Can I rock those shoes without fallin? - I will certainly try.
Doesn't this song just remind you of .....sigh....love past, lost, or never admitted to? I fall in love so easily, this song must have been written for me....
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Memorial Day
Fellow blogger Shai, at Drawn 2 Words, listed out loved ones that she is holding dear this Memorial day. I had tried to avoid it, but reading her site brought back so many memories. So this Memorial Day, I am going to hold a few family members close:
1. David. My dear dear grandfather. How I loved this man. He was the first person to give me complete regularity, complete calm in day to day normalness. Wash the towels every day, wake up at the crack of dawn, do the same exercise routine, 1/2 grapefruit, sliced toast, two raw eggs with a dash of cinnamon. Every day. I don't think his children had the benefit of the retired David, they knew the younger him. Depending on who you ask he was a hell raiser or a great person. But for me, he was my absolute baseline. He and I had a comfortable unspoken bond. The nurses aide told me that before he died he would point to the picture on the wall, me at 6 - the spitting image of my oldest daughter- and say - "that one there, that's my baby girl." And you know that Grandpa, I love you forever.
2. Annie. Annie Ophelia was as sweet as sugar. Soft spoken, always worrying, she would speak in such a light sweet voice. Her skin was as soft as velvet, her patience neverending. She only disciplined me once in life, and that was the saddest moment of my life. I felt so ashamed. AN only child who mothered 9, I inadvertently seemed to have followed into her parenting path (I don't have nine, but I have alot). I thank you Grandma, for all the love - pure, unconditional. For all the support. And I am so sorry for how you were treated in the end and for how much heartache you had to suffer.
3. Joseph. How can you be gone? How is that possible. Your ending was almost biblical, walking into a church - just gone, your empty frame lying on the steps. I am still devastated. Still try not to think about it,actually. Still remember you with your fro in cornrows, the electric guitar plugged into the wall, play the Funk along with the stereo. My last visit you confided in me, told me your hurts and regrets that will forever break my heart, but will forever remain between us. I miss you so much...
4. Teddy. It's odd that you passed away so long ago, and I am still confused that you are gone, that I haven't seen you in years, that someone so genuine would disappear so mysteriously. Uncle Jo and I talked about you when I last spoke to him. About the changes in your life that caused him to change. You were always so kind to me, and I never understood why. Anytime I was in town you would come get me, talk me all the way to the family house. I was so amazed at what you had accomplished and the life you led. We all looked up to you. Things have changed, the family is no longer the same. I am not as welcome anymore. Because of my own separation I attempted to reach out, and my intent was distorted, manipulated, negatively perceived. And I lost the easy bond that I had with your brothers, your family. But I still love them much, and I will always think of you...
5. Carolyn. For you, I probably shed the most tears. What a rare circumstance, what a rare life, what a rare opportunity to float along with a star before it exploded into infinity. It is unfair that you are not here, to see these wonderful grandchildren of yours. Your three children produced an amazing set of kids, your family has tripled itself. And there are pieces of you that my girls needed to see, needed to learn from someone who truly understood people and gave everyone a second chance, without judgement. I thought I had forever to be with you, fuss with you, pout around you, ask your advice, sit quietly and watch you. But the truth was, I only had a infinitesimal second. I miss you...
6. Kathy. I still can't deal with your death. I started to call you so many times this year, tell you something funny, or tell you about your nephew and your brothers. Midway through dialing I remembered, and my heart felt like it exploded. In fact, I was going to call you this past weekend to see if the girls could go to the beach with you again this summer, but then again, the realization clicked in, and my heart tore in two. Why are you gone?
So many death, so many others that I didn't list here. I will take time to remember them on this Memorial Day, and to thank God for each second of them, i was able to savor...
1. David. My dear dear grandfather. How I loved this man. He was the first person to give me complete regularity, complete calm in day to day normalness. Wash the towels every day, wake up at the crack of dawn, do the same exercise routine, 1/2 grapefruit, sliced toast, two raw eggs with a dash of cinnamon. Every day. I don't think his children had the benefit of the retired David, they knew the younger him. Depending on who you ask he was a hell raiser or a great person. But for me, he was my absolute baseline. He and I had a comfortable unspoken bond. The nurses aide told me that before he died he would point to the picture on the wall, me at 6 - the spitting image of my oldest daughter- and say - "that one there, that's my baby girl." And you know that Grandpa, I love you forever.
2. Annie. Annie Ophelia was as sweet as sugar. Soft spoken, always worrying, she would speak in such a light sweet voice. Her skin was as soft as velvet, her patience neverending. She only disciplined me once in life, and that was the saddest moment of my life. I felt so ashamed. AN only child who mothered 9, I inadvertently seemed to have followed into her parenting path (I don't have nine, but I have alot). I thank you Grandma, for all the love - pure, unconditional. For all the support. And I am so sorry for how you were treated in the end and for how much heartache you had to suffer.
3. Joseph. How can you be gone? How is that possible. Your ending was almost biblical, walking into a church - just gone, your empty frame lying on the steps. I am still devastated. Still try not to think about it,actually. Still remember you with your fro in cornrows, the electric guitar plugged into the wall, play the Funk along with the stereo. My last visit you confided in me, told me your hurts and regrets that will forever break my heart, but will forever remain between us. I miss you so much...
4. Teddy. It's odd that you passed away so long ago, and I am still confused that you are gone, that I haven't seen you in years, that someone so genuine would disappear so mysteriously. Uncle Jo and I talked about you when I last spoke to him. About the changes in your life that caused him to change. You were always so kind to me, and I never understood why. Anytime I was in town you would come get me, talk me all the way to the family house. I was so amazed at what you had accomplished and the life you led. We all looked up to you. Things have changed, the family is no longer the same. I am not as welcome anymore. Because of my own separation I attempted to reach out, and my intent was distorted, manipulated, negatively perceived. And I lost the easy bond that I had with your brothers, your family. But I still love them much, and I will always think of you...
5. Carolyn. For you, I probably shed the most tears. What a rare circumstance, what a rare life, what a rare opportunity to float along with a star before it exploded into infinity. It is unfair that you are not here, to see these wonderful grandchildren of yours. Your three children produced an amazing set of kids, your family has tripled itself. And there are pieces of you that my girls needed to see, needed to learn from someone who truly understood people and gave everyone a second chance, without judgement. I thought I had forever to be with you, fuss with you, pout around you, ask your advice, sit quietly and watch you. But the truth was, I only had a infinitesimal second. I miss you...
6. Kathy. I still can't deal with your death. I started to call you so many times this year, tell you something funny, or tell you about your nephew and your brothers. Midway through dialing I remembered, and my heart felt like it exploded. In fact, I was going to call you this past weekend to see if the girls could go to the beach with you again this summer, but then again, the realization clicked in, and my heart tore in two. Why are you gone?
So many death, so many others that I didn't list here. I will take time to remember them on this Memorial Day, and to thank God for each second of them, i was able to savor...
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Nothin Much
Ok - New writing goal. Actually start posting chapter work again. I keep falling asleep at the computer - incredibly frustratin. I haven't been sleeping, because I don't have time, but my body has started to short circuit. Meaning whenever I stop moving, I literally pass out.
So anyway, I don't have any real insights today. Four graduation parties to attend, six gifts to give out. Today I received three invites, which is really a wonderful thing. That someone wants my family to participate in that celebration is very special, because in this cold world it is rare to find someone willing to let you in the life of them and their children. And that is something that should be cherished and recognized. ANd they all have fantastic kids - I mean really. They do normalsilly teenager stuff, but the blessing is that they don't cross the line. They understand that there is a life for them, an expectation on them, that their success means alot.
On another note - my short story - Mikki's Anniversary- in If it Aint One thing,
received a very kind review. I am going to post it at the website so please check it out.
So anyway, I don't have any real insights today. Four graduation parties to attend, six gifts to give out. Today I received three invites, which is really a wonderful thing. That someone wants my family to participate in that celebration is very special, because in this cold world it is rare to find someone willing to let you in the life of them and their children. And that is something that should be cherished and recognized. ANd they all have fantastic kids - I mean really. They do normalsilly teenager stuff, but the blessing is that they don't cross the line. They understand that there is a life for them, an expectation on them, that their success means alot.
On another note - my short story - Mikki's Anniversary- in If it Aint One thing,
received a very kind review. I am going to post it at the website so please check it out.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Senior Summer
DO you remember the summer after you graduated from highschool? My son's friends are movin on this year and, in the course of talkin to them, I remembered my senior summer. Summer of first intimacy, house parties, boyfriends, freedom, soon to be luv, straight up lust, dj's and b-boys....It was incredible. Back when movies reflected life, instead of defining it, we had house parties every weekend. EVERY WEEKEND. so funny to watch house party the movie, cuz that was our summer, although we were house partying way before those movies came out.
Anyway, my boyfriend was the DJ. A coupla folks would get together 3-400 dollars, push all the couches against the wall, move tables to the basement, make sure the folks was somewhere else, and it was on. I mean ON. Dancing in the living room and dining room like we were in a club. Dancing in front of the DJ table to try to catch my man's eye. Dancing with other guys - to try to catch my man's eye. (smile) Flirting fun.
I think it was my first summer of self acceptance, of releasing fear and just enjoying the moment. I knew my friends and I would never be together like that again. Instinctively, I knew that it was the last time we could live it up like that. And I beat the sadness down until well into college, when I could no longer deny that life changes, whether you want it to or not. And life long friends from elementary school were no longer my social anchor.
A summer of sexual exploration too. Oh well, I might as well be honest, damnit. Mind you, it was still the 90's, so we were not freakin like these lil mamma's now adays. Some stuff still was off limits. But kissing in the rain, driving to the park, holding hands, slow grindin and deep intimacy - it was the first summer of all that. Funny now, how innocent it all was. I felt so guilty at the time, in and out of church, trying to pray through guilt, cuz I wasn't giving it up (smile). Now, lookin back, it was the most natural thing in the world, the sweetest love, the purest intimacies.
What a summer....
Anyway, my boyfriend was the DJ. A coupla folks would get together 3-400 dollars, push all the couches against the wall, move tables to the basement, make sure the folks was somewhere else, and it was on. I mean ON. Dancing in the living room and dining room like we were in a club. Dancing in front of the DJ table to try to catch my man's eye. Dancing with other guys - to try to catch my man's eye. (smile) Flirting fun.
I think it was my first summer of self acceptance, of releasing fear and just enjoying the moment. I knew my friends and I would never be together like that again. Instinctively, I knew that it was the last time we could live it up like that. And I beat the sadness down until well into college, when I could no longer deny that life changes, whether you want it to or not. And life long friends from elementary school were no longer my social anchor.
A summer of sexual exploration too. Oh well, I might as well be honest, damnit. Mind you, it was still the 90's, so we were not freakin like these lil mamma's now adays. Some stuff still was off limits. But kissing in the rain, driving to the park, holding hands, slow grindin and deep intimacy - it was the first summer of all that. Funny now, how innocent it all was. I felt so guilty at the time, in and out of church, trying to pray through guilt, cuz I wasn't giving it up (smile). Now, lookin back, it was the most natural thing in the world, the sweetest love, the purest intimacies.
What a summer....
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Mother's Day Lament
Happy Mother's Day to all the parenting people in the world today. It was an interesting day. We were invited to a cookout and I was going back and forth with our host over owning a dog. We owned a Doberman but had to give him away once our daughter was born. He never tried to harm her, it was just that we couldn't make time for him. Thinking back on it made me realize how much commitment and parenting changes our lives. We COULD HAVE made the change for our dog, we just didn't. A couple of kids later, the same changes were made, because we didn't have a choice. Life changes, and we became completely secondary to the upbringing of the kids. I can't even remember the entitlement to have control over my day, to focus on doing what I want to do. Just no longer my mentality.
Well, anyway, part of my Mothers Day gift was to see a movie. At a movie theatre. OK, you have to have a houseful of kids to get this one, but those of you that know understand that this is a privilege. I chose Spidey 3. Was very excited, enjoyed it immensely. Thought the sandman and the black unknown substance to be intriguing nemesis (nemesi?). Since both were played by white men, I had no reason to think about it on a different level. At the end, however, Spidey puts on his Blue and Red suit and happens to swing past the American Flag on his way to fight the Sandman and the Black creature. Now, the subtle irony in that struck me, when I spotted the flag. America beating the "sandman." Come on, I don't want to be that conspiracy sister, but, it distracted me for a moment.....
I had to cancel a book reading this weekend and was a little upset that I had to miss it. MY son had a pre collegiate sport thing. I want to further my dream but it is so minute compared to his. His future is so bright and in near reach, so I had to do my part. Like I said, I was a little sad about it, but I have to tuck that part away....
Well, anyway, part of my Mothers Day gift was to see a movie. At a movie theatre. OK, you have to have a houseful of kids to get this one, but those of you that know understand that this is a privilege. I chose Spidey 3. Was very excited, enjoyed it immensely. Thought the sandman and the black unknown substance to be intriguing nemesis (nemesi?). Since both were played by white men, I had no reason to think about it on a different level. At the end, however, Spidey puts on his Blue and Red suit and happens to swing past the American Flag on his way to fight the Sandman and the Black creature. Now, the subtle irony in that struck me, when I spotted the flag. America beating the "sandman." Come on, I don't want to be that conspiracy sister, but, it distracted me for a moment.....
I had to cancel a book reading this weekend and was a little upset that I had to miss it. MY son had a pre collegiate sport thing. I want to further my dream but it is so minute compared to his. His future is so bright and in near reach, so I had to do my part. Like I said, I was a little sad about it, but I have to tuck that part away....
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Review and other stuff
Gotta a new review today for Internal Indulgences and it is mind blowing. I mean, this woman was so kind to my writing efforts, I just couldn't believe it. It is a wonderful review. I am very very appreciate. To read it, click Internal Indulgences .
On another note, I watched America Idol results show on Wednesday. This was the charity event and it was a phenomenal show. They showed situations of poverty in such a real and devastating manner that my perspective was altered. Even Simon, at one point, lost his cool. While visiting a woman suffering from Aids, he had what, for him, had to be a breakdown. He started rambling about how insufferable the room was, the living was, then he stormed out - the pretentious brat in him came forward because he simply had no other way to react (I like him alot). But it was really that devastating.
Now, the only thing that I noticed, I haven't decided whether I take issue with it or not, is that all the celebrity performers were white. Now, I want to believe that was a coincidence. But, this young generation of singers doesn't have much meaningful work to chose from. Still, in America, it is almost unheard of to bring out all these celebrities and not have an African American performer. Since many contributors were also English, I am assuming that the English booked the performances, which would explain alot!
So, I am going to give and try to continue to help. They showed a clinic with 8 beds where over 300 women and children report daily because these babies are dying from malaria. Malaria!! Something a tablet could prevent? It is just devastating. and I can't pretend to be oblivious any longer.....
On another note, I watched America Idol results show on Wednesday. This was the charity event and it was a phenomenal show. They showed situations of poverty in such a real and devastating manner that my perspective was altered. Even Simon, at one point, lost his cool. While visiting a woman suffering from Aids, he had what, for him, had to be a breakdown. He started rambling about how insufferable the room was, the living was, then he stormed out - the pretentious brat in him came forward because he simply had no other way to react (I like him alot). But it was really that devastating.
Now, the only thing that I noticed, I haven't decided whether I take issue with it or not, is that all the celebrity performers were white. Now, I want to believe that was a coincidence. But, this young generation of singers doesn't have much meaningful work to chose from. Still, in America, it is almost unheard of to bring out all these celebrities and not have an African American performer. Since many contributors were also English, I am assuming that the English booked the performances, which would explain alot!
So, I am going to give and try to continue to help. They showed a clinic with 8 beds where over 300 women and children report daily because these babies are dying from malaria. Malaria!! Something a tablet could prevent? It is just devastating. and I can't pretend to be oblivious any longer.....
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Back to Life
It's back to life for me. I am trying to determine who I want to be and how to get myself there. More financially responsible. More physically fit. More supporting and nurturing. It is difficult, though, being who everyone needs me to be. Particularly my family. I have found that no matter how much of me I give, it really isn't enough. So the only thing I can do is try to give the best of me, and hope that I will be forgiven my shortcomings...
I made it to NYC this past weekend. I luv New York, but I didn't really get to enjoy it like I normally do, simply ran out of time. Not to say I didn't have a ball. I was there supporting a player in the Jordan Classic - a phenomenal young man. The game was at the Garden and turned out to be a semi celeb event - Michael Jordan, Spike Lee, Diddy's kids, Run's daughters (we think) Tocara (America Next Top Model), Roxi (BET?-I don't watch so I am going on my son's word), and anumber of athletes. Eddie George walked past me twice and looked me full in the face before I realized who he was. Same with Idris Elba. Yes, you all know the type of crush I have on Mr. Elba. But he rolled past while I was seated next to my husband and I couldn't disrespect my man by turning into a straight groupie. I had to admit, it crossed my mind for a minute, though (smile).
So the trip was definitely worth it, definitely worth showing love to our young men who are trying to do the right thing. I am glad I went. So now, its back to life for me....
I made it to NYC this past weekend. I luv New York, but I didn't really get to enjoy it like I normally do, simply ran out of time. Not to say I didn't have a ball. I was there supporting a player in the Jordan Classic - a phenomenal young man. The game was at the Garden and turned out to be a semi celeb event - Michael Jordan, Spike Lee, Diddy's kids, Run's daughters (we think) Tocara (America Next Top Model), Roxi (BET?-I don't watch so I am going on my son's word), and anumber of athletes. Eddie George walked past me twice and looked me full in the face before I realized who he was. Same with Idris Elba. Yes, you all know the type of crush I have on Mr. Elba. But he rolled past while I was seated next to my husband and I couldn't disrespect my man by turning into a straight groupie. I had to admit, it crossed my mind for a minute, though (smile).
So the trip was definitely worth it, definitely worth showing love to our young men who are trying to do the right thing. I am glad I went. So now, its back to life for me....
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Do I have a Crush?
Do you remember your first crush. I mean the first real crush, not the first little boyfriend. We all had plenty of those, when I was little I attracted little boys like flies for some unknown reason. But I am talking about that first unattainable crush, normally in your teens, normally with someone you think you can never have for a number of reasons. I have been asking my girlfriends about this and they all have expereinced the same thing, a deep strong emotion, that can only be termed as love, with a person from afar. Someone they barely spoke too, who probably didn't have a clue. But, no mistaking it, everyone agrees on one thing, even if wasn't love, the emotion was so strong that the difference is negligible.
I had a deafening crush on one person, who will forever be nameless. Even now the thought of him makes me smile, blush, laugh. I know he had to suspect, but I was too afraid to press forward and althought he would flirt and talk with me whenever he had the chance, he never crossed that line. I wonder what would have happened had I been bolder, more confident, less petrified of rejection. But, I digress. What is remarkable is the amount of emotion you can feel for someone that you barely interact with. That passion can be so strong, breathtaking, at simply the idea of someone.
Does it only happen to us when we are very young? Do we reach a plateau in life where wonder and excitement phase out for the obvious and practical, making it impossible to allow ourselves to indulge in the thought of someone? Making it impractical to be thrilled by the site and thought of someone we barely know? Are we able to have crushes after our teen years?
I had a deafening crush on one person, who will forever be nameless. Even now the thought of him makes me smile, blush, laugh. I know he had to suspect, but I was too afraid to press forward and althought he would flirt and talk with me whenever he had the chance, he never crossed that line. I wonder what would have happened had I been bolder, more confident, less petrified of rejection. But, I digress. What is remarkable is the amount of emotion you can feel for someone that you barely interact with. That passion can be so strong, breathtaking, at simply the idea of someone.
Does it only happen to us when we are very young? Do we reach a plateau in life where wonder and excitement phase out for the obvious and practical, making it impossible to allow ourselves to indulge in the thought of someone? Making it impractical to be thrilled by the site and thought of someone we barely know? Are we able to have crushes after our teen years?
Monday, April 16, 2007
Dreams Realization
Its an exciting time in our lives, we our beginning to see dreams and future planning become present realization. It is not only an exciting time for us, but for several others that have journeyed on this mission together, making life sacrifices to try to insure our children had everything necessary to achieve the unthinkable. And they have turned the unthinkable into reality.
The past weekends have been spent visiting colleges that have invited us down for football. In the meantime my sons classmate has been named an All American in almost every arena in basketball. Other friends are finding that football is opening doors to tremendous opportunities, while hoop dreams are happening for some others. That's not all, there are friends who are probable major league baseball and soccer players.
Its a little surprising, the normal day to day of it all. They have been plodding along, practicing, playing, school - a never ending cycle of obligation and expectation with a few breaks here and there. But, finally, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and payoff for the multitude of sacrifices.
To be very honest with you, I am tremendously excited - for my son, for his basketball playing classmate. I have watched their battles upfront and personal, I know all of my sons hurdles, a few of his classmates. It is a relief to see that the promise holds true and the dedication is paying off. It is a blessing to be able to live and experience it.
The past weekends have been spent visiting colleges that have invited us down for football. In the meantime my sons classmate has been named an All American in almost every arena in basketball. Other friends are finding that football is opening doors to tremendous opportunities, while hoop dreams are happening for some others. That's not all, there are friends who are probable major league baseball and soccer players.
Its a little surprising, the normal day to day of it all. They have been plodding along, practicing, playing, school - a never ending cycle of obligation and expectation with a few breaks here and there. But, finally, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and payoff for the multitude of sacrifices.
To be very honest with you, I am tremendously excited - for my son, for his basketball playing classmate. I have watched their battles upfront and personal, I know all of my sons hurdles, a few of his classmates. It is a relief to see that the promise holds true and the dedication is paying off. It is a blessing to be able to live and experience it.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Just the Lovin, Please...
My girlfriend and I were talking today about the needs of the early 30's women. specifically, how much the need has changed since the 20s. In the 20s there is so much want for reassurance, companionship, commitment, love. Love. Love. The idea of it causes some of us to bury our heads in the sand, make that man into something he is not, believe our lives to be very different from whats clearly reflected in the mirror.
But not in the early 30s. No. Now, brothas can stop playin games. Cause, sistah may not want a relationship, marriage, love and kids. Maybe she, just like you, wants to partake in a mature sharing of sensual expression. Nothing more. No love. In fact, please don't fall in love. Cause many times, her family is already in tact. So its alrite if brotha can't commit, actually its preferred. The games and the lies can stop.
The interesting thing is that more than one sistah has told me this, while more than 1 brotha is telling me they are now looking for love. wanting to settle down. but the women they want forever are instead hoping for that intimate rendezvous, with no strings attached. Forever seems like another bag of bricks to drag and the woman just isn't interested. Ironic, huh?
But not in the early 30s. No. Now, brothas can stop playin games. Cause, sistah may not want a relationship, marriage, love and kids. Maybe she, just like you, wants to partake in a mature sharing of sensual expression. Nothing more. No love. In fact, please don't fall in love. Cause many times, her family is already in tact. So its alrite if brotha can't commit, actually its preferred. The games and the lies can stop.
The interesting thing is that more than one sistah has told me this, while more than 1 brotha is telling me they are now looking for love. wanting to settle down. but the women they want forever are instead hoping for that intimate rendezvous, with no strings attached. Forever seems like another bag of bricks to drag and the woman just isn't interested. Ironic, huh?
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Simply Fat
I'm fat. There, I said it. Not Phat, either. Just plain ole fat. Its out there and there is no taking it back. When did I let myself go the way of the flesh, and why didn't someone stop me? Well, that speaks to how kind the folks in my world are, but, never the less, its a problem.
Now, I had 4 children in a little under four years. So that excuse was alright until the twins turned 2. Now what? I couldn't get twenty more pounds off in 2 years? Probably not, considering I help myself to a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream every night around 1 or 2 am to keep my eyes awake while I struggle to create a story or poem.
Truth is, I snack more and eat more when I am tired. The sugar keeps me up. So goal number 1, more sleep. Goal 2, exercise. And not old folky speed walking exercise. I mean, for real work it out, sweat it out type stuff. Goal 3, a little mouth control. Just a little. A little more than what I have now has to be better than nothin, right?
I will have 20 pounds off by June. Have to do it. I love feeling cute, flirty, womanish. I enjoy it and it is hard to pull of fwhile sucking in the belly and running out of breath from climbing the steps. Plus, I am not happy when I look in the mirror, and I absolutely HATE that feeling.
Now, let me just say, I have never, ever been skinny. Have no desire to be. Never sported a bikini, and probably won't in this lifetime. My girlfriend suggested we fly to the Dominican Republic for lipo - if I get this tummy down, then no more suckin in and I am free to flirt, grin, wear tight clothes at will. But that ain't me. I have to lose it the old fashioned way, to the best of my ability, demonstrate to my daughters some self love and willingness to put the time in to accomplish certain goals. Skinny aint my goal. I just want to receive a hug without hoping that my man's hand won't land against a little lump-bump, you know....
So, I know how to do it, its just do I luv me enough to go for it. I think so. I joined the weight loss challenge at work today, the participatn's put up $5 a month, and the person who loses the most weight in 9 months wins. The competitor in me will do it, just for the money. I know, kinda shallow, but oh well...
In the meantime, I will have to luv the skin I am in, without being fully satsified with it. So, I guess, that is goal number 4.
Now, I had 4 children in a little under four years. So that excuse was alright until the twins turned 2. Now what? I couldn't get twenty more pounds off in 2 years? Probably not, considering I help myself to a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream every night around 1 or 2 am to keep my eyes awake while I struggle to create a story or poem.
Truth is, I snack more and eat more when I am tired. The sugar keeps me up. So goal number 1, more sleep. Goal 2, exercise. And not old folky speed walking exercise. I mean, for real work it out, sweat it out type stuff. Goal 3, a little mouth control. Just a little. A little more than what I have now has to be better than nothin, right?
I will have 20 pounds off by June. Have to do it. I love feeling cute, flirty, womanish. I enjoy it and it is hard to pull of fwhile sucking in the belly and running out of breath from climbing the steps. Plus, I am not happy when I look in the mirror, and I absolutely HATE that feeling.
Now, let me just say, I have never, ever been skinny. Have no desire to be. Never sported a bikini, and probably won't in this lifetime. My girlfriend suggested we fly to the Dominican Republic for lipo - if I get this tummy down, then no more suckin in and I am free to flirt, grin, wear tight clothes at will. But that ain't me. I have to lose it the old fashioned way, to the best of my ability, demonstrate to my daughters some self love and willingness to put the time in to accomplish certain goals. Skinny aint my goal. I just want to receive a hug without hoping that my man's hand won't land against a little lump-bump, you know....
So, I know how to do it, its just do I luv me enough to go for it. I think so. I joined the weight loss challenge at work today, the participatn's put up $5 a month, and the person who loses the most weight in 9 months wins. The competitor in me will do it, just for the money. I know, kinda shallow, but oh well...
In the meantime, I will have to luv the skin I am in, without being fully satsified with it. So, I guess, that is goal number 4.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
2008 - the year of Gtown
It is with a heavy heart that I admit my Hoyas lost to Ohio State and its man child - Oden. I was stunned. It never occurred to me that we weren't going to the Finals, actually, after we beat Chapel Hill. Now, I don't know that we would have gotten past Florida, but definitely thought Ohio State wouldn't hang.
unfortunately, folks are going off on this boy Jeff Green. he apparently suffered shell shock, or some other performance anxiety during the game, because the brotha wanted no parts of the basketball and wouldn't take a shot. But, to be fair, I have never performed in front of 70,000 people. ALso, no tellin what happened in his world just prior to the game. There is real life outside of the game for the athletes. I don't want to dis the man, and I won't join the haters that are tryin to bash him now.
So anyway, there is a silver lining in this cloud. Ohio did not win the championship. On, no, I guess that shouldn't be the silver lining. What about this: Now Georgetown can make it back, win it next year, when the two incoming freshman are a part of the team. Had they won this year, it would have been statistically impossible to repeat. Now, it is more than likely. And I would rather see one of these brothas obtain that illusive championship - put an exclamation point on an already outstanding career-and get a much desired championship under his belt.
So, next year, I'm claiming, the year of G'town.
Hoya Saxa!
unfortunately, folks are going off on this boy Jeff Green. he apparently suffered shell shock, or some other performance anxiety during the game, because the brotha wanted no parts of the basketball and wouldn't take a shot. But, to be fair, I have never performed in front of 70,000 people. ALso, no tellin what happened in his world just prior to the game. There is real life outside of the game for the athletes. I don't want to dis the man, and I won't join the haters that are tryin to bash him now.
So anyway, there is a silver lining in this cloud. Ohio did not win the championship. On, no, I guess that shouldn't be the silver lining. What about this: Now Georgetown can make it back, win it next year, when the two incoming freshman are a part of the team. Had they won this year, it would have been statistically impossible to repeat. Now, it is more than likely. And I would rather see one of these brothas obtain that illusive championship - put an exclamation point on an already outstanding career-and get a much desired championship under his belt.
So, next year, I'm claiming, the year of G'town.
Hoya Saxa!
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Updates
Do I need to spell it out - no. But I will. We are Going to the FINAL FOUR. Well we, in theory, mean we as the global G'Town community. Not me. Awwww, well I just can't afford the $3500 ticket offered me. Seriously. And my G'Town ticket connection is scrambling for tickets himself. SO I will just be yelling and screaming at my television this weekend. AS all alum say - Hoya Saxa!
On another note - I have been blessed. We are healthy, something that I have always taken for granted. But I appreciate it. My son is being heavily recruited for the sport he loves. My younger daughter has been recruited for a tournament tennis team. Yeah! Good things are happening.
On the book front, I am slowly moving forward with publicity. I have four more books completedm and in publishing. SO the series is eight books now. I am going to release an inspiration collection of poetry and a romance collection of poetry. Also, the four series book I have been working on "Ella Reid and the Armor" is back in works. The first two books are complete and in editing - I am so excited. The artwork for those pieces is almost complete. The artwork for another character - Tressa - is also complete and posted on the blog. I have to get those websites up and going, except those up in the next two weeks.
I received another great review - I am so excited http://lavenderisis.com/internalindulgences-buy.html The e-versions of the poetry collection is being published by LAvender Isis and www.lavenderisis.com Please check it out and let me know what you think!
One more thing - I was just informed that I am going to be published in another anothology. Yeah - this is the third one this year. Two short stories through www.kishagreenonline.com and now a poem.
Finally, Terry Howcott has featured another poem at http://terryhowcott.com/greenspace.asp?id=738
Send me your thoughts and comments...
On another note - I have been blessed. We are healthy, something that I have always taken for granted. But I appreciate it. My son is being heavily recruited for the sport he loves. My younger daughter has been recruited for a tournament tennis team. Yeah! Good things are happening.
On the book front, I am slowly moving forward with publicity. I have four more books completedm and in publishing. SO the series is eight books now. I am going to release an inspiration collection of poetry and a romance collection of poetry. Also, the four series book I have been working on "Ella Reid and the Armor" is back in works. The first two books are complete and in editing - I am so excited. The artwork for those pieces is almost complete. The artwork for another character - Tressa - is also complete and posted on the blog. I have to get those websites up and going, except those up in the next two weeks.
I received another great review - I am so excited http://lavenderisis.com/internalindulgences-buy.html The e-versions of the poetry collection is being published by LAvender Isis and www.lavenderisis.com Please check it out and let me know what you think!
One more thing - I was just informed that I am going to be published in another anothology. Yeah - this is the third one this year. Two short stories through www.kishagreenonline.com and now a poem.
Finally, Terry Howcott has featured another poem at http://terryhowcott.com/greenspace.asp?id=738
Send me your thoughts and comments...
Friday, March 23, 2007
Exhausted
So, I am exhausted. I mean, can't keep my eyes open while I am drivin type of tired. Yet, I sit here typing away, tryin to get some energy to work on one of my stories, although I know tha tI can't. can't stay awake long enough to focus.
THis next month is a continuous stream of work/bills/recruitin trips/survival. I am lucky and blesed, I guess, but livin it is tiresome. Hope you are all well and I will update the stories soon, I promise!!
THis next month is a continuous stream of work/bills/recruitin trips/survival. I am lucky and blesed, I guess, but livin it is tiresome. Hope you are all well and I will update the stories soon, I promise!!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
No More Heartbreaking Basketball
I don't want to see anymore heart breaking basketball. Not this season. I mean it. I am tired - fandom has got me emotionally drained. I can't watch another valiant attempt at victory in the face of insurmountable obstacles - i.e. other 6 footers. The one player I watched this year left his heart out there every time, an incredible thing to behold, but heartbreaking all the same.
I think it hurts when you develop an affection for the player, a hope that they will be successful no matter what. I mean, who else invoked so much emotion, but A.I. How many times did you watch his run with Philly in the playoffs a few years back and find yourself completely emotionally consumed, wasted from the pure magnitude of the effort that he put up, his heart bigger than reality, and certainly stronger than his physical.
I have seen that type of drive again this season, returning my love of the game. I used to watched basketball nonstop. Can't play a lick. Mesmerized by it, though. And this player took me there, to the times when I worked for the Wizards and the Mystics and determined that basketball, or representing it's players, would be my life. I walked away from that when I started having children, unable to cater to the daily demands of the career. But I love it again. At the same time, however, I can't take it anymore.
There has to be a great equilibrium, some fair balance for the players who give so much and still don't win the crown. I think of Chamique Holdsclaw - championships through highschool and college, nada in the pros. Happens alot. Maybe that's why this player couldn't get it, maybe there has to be something left for him to attain - (cause brotha shattered any record within his sights). SO I am ready for this player to experience fairness, to enjoy college and achieve what others only dream of while finally able to play with comparable talent and shine within the system, instead of having to work around five other players and four of his own teammates, going the length of the floor and getting slaughtered along the way - without foul calls- to slug out a mere two points.
What brought this to mind? Well, tonite I watched another heartbreaking game. No, not the player above, that season is over and his opportunity at the normal basketball experience is soon to come. And he is going to be alrite! But tonight I watched a women player for Maryland (i don't put other's children's names on the internet, if you haven't noticed) suffer heartbreak as the Lady Terps were upset by Ole Miss. Yes, I said Ole Miss. What in the world? How in the hizell did they let Ole Miss force 29 turnovers in the first half? And they were seeded 2. I shook my head, clucked in that dismissive way we sometimes do with women ball, until I saw my favorite player. A sweet person, my stomach knotted and my heart turned watching her sob during the last minutes of the game. I almost turned off the tube, but that seemed callous. So I watched and, the baby that I am, always feeling others emotions, I started crying too. SO, after a dedicated season, it came abruptly to an end for MD. And I felt unbelievably sad that she had to suffer that loss.
So yeah. That coupled with my son's first ever season inexplicably riding the oak, plucking splinters from his butt, polishing the pine, or whatever other term you can think of, has led me to one conclusion. I am ready for this basketball season to end, to release me from anymore heartbreaking games or circumstance. I think I'll take the summer to mentally recuperate.
I think it hurts when you develop an affection for the player, a hope that they will be successful no matter what. I mean, who else invoked so much emotion, but A.I. How many times did you watch his run with Philly in the playoffs a few years back and find yourself completely emotionally consumed, wasted from the pure magnitude of the effort that he put up, his heart bigger than reality, and certainly stronger than his physical.
I have seen that type of drive again this season, returning my love of the game. I used to watched basketball nonstop. Can't play a lick. Mesmerized by it, though. And this player took me there, to the times when I worked for the Wizards and the Mystics and determined that basketball, or representing it's players, would be my life. I walked away from that when I started having children, unable to cater to the daily demands of the career. But I love it again. At the same time, however, I can't take it anymore.
There has to be a great equilibrium, some fair balance for the players who give so much and still don't win the crown. I think of Chamique Holdsclaw - championships through highschool and college, nada in the pros. Happens alot. Maybe that's why this player couldn't get it, maybe there has to be something left for him to attain - (cause brotha shattered any record within his sights). SO I am ready for this player to experience fairness, to enjoy college and achieve what others only dream of while finally able to play with comparable talent and shine within the system, instead of having to work around five other players and four of his own teammates, going the length of the floor and getting slaughtered along the way - without foul calls- to slug out a mere two points.
What brought this to mind? Well, tonite I watched another heartbreaking game. No, not the player above, that season is over and his opportunity at the normal basketball experience is soon to come. And he is going to be alrite! But tonight I watched a women player for Maryland (i don't put other's children's names on the internet, if you haven't noticed) suffer heartbreak as the Lady Terps were upset by Ole Miss. Yes, I said Ole Miss. What in the world? How in the hizell did they let Ole Miss force 29 turnovers in the first half? And they were seeded 2. I shook my head, clucked in that dismissive way we sometimes do with women ball, until I saw my favorite player. A sweet person, my stomach knotted and my heart turned watching her sob during the last minutes of the game. I almost turned off the tube, but that seemed callous. So I watched and, the baby that I am, always feeling others emotions, I started crying too. SO, after a dedicated season, it came abruptly to an end for MD. And I felt unbelievably sad that she had to suffer that loss.
So yeah. That coupled with my son's first ever season inexplicably riding the oak, plucking splinters from his butt, polishing the pine, or whatever other term you can think of, has led me to one conclusion. I am ready for this basketball season to end, to release me from anymore heartbreaking games or circumstance. I think I'll take the summer to mentally recuperate.
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