Nixing Spanglish

Hola mi papi's y mamasitas

Well, the time has come for me to increase the Espanol, and it is a pressing need. My twins caregiver speaks fluent Spanish and minimal, passable English. I speak Ebonics, the Kings English and horrible, treacherous Spanglish. On some level, I actually feel its a little disrespectful that I haven't taken more time, put in more effort. I am kinda overwhelmed with other things, but aren't we all. And the most important thing is clear communication and extending a basic kindness to her. Because I have 2 years of Latin and 4 years of Spanish under my belt, how lazy and rude is it that I haven't just taken a week to listen to a refresher course?

We had an issue the other day, very minor, but we weren't able to communicate effectively. She had panic in her eyes and I felt very very bad. Turns out, it was no big deal, she just wanted to clarify the purpose of some money I had given her. But you know how it is, folks and money. She definitely didn't want me thinking she had misused it, and our failure to communicate worried us both!!

Therefore, I am getting on it. No more piecemeal sentences with muy pequeno espanol sprinkled throughout, no Ima show some respect and get it right.

Anyway, my babies are definitely bilingual, in fact, they carry on entire babbling conversations in what is definitely not baby English, and both yell "agua" and "leche" at the sight of water and milk (the baby version of the words of course) as well as other words I haven't quite made out. It's funny, I was trying to translate their babble into English, came up with nothing. Start listening for Spanish words, ya'll, and realized these kids have been talking for weeks.

They respond and interact entirely in Spanish with my day care provider and her family members. Which I wanted. I have a huge family, they will catch on to English with no problems. And this is a bilingual, multicultural world, I want them to be able to really experience it. But, it also means that if I want to keep up with bilingual clever kids who can get into some stuff at the drop of a dime, I need to get the Espanol rolling off my tongue now!!

Alright folks, I'm back and refusing to be denied in 2007. So, I am looking forward to this new year, but I must admit that I was truly blessed in 2006. Events in my life caused me to step out of my shell, strip away the comfort zone I created and step back into the real world. My number one fear, of course, was my children and exposing them to a bunch of nonsense when dealing with day care providers. Don't get me wrong, there are good ones out there, its just going through the shuffle to find them that's scary. Instead, we got it right the first time, and she has made a tremendous difference in our lives.

Additionally, I returned to the 9-5 workforce, after 4 years of the hustle and grind of self employment. It took some getting used to. The whole idea of punching the clock, just for the sake of punching the clock, is a mindless concept that I have to fight daily. But it was very necessary. The boredom of work facilitated a desire to write all the time, instead of sparingly or on the weekends. So, this blog was developed, the myspace page was developed, the website was developed, three books published, three short stories published...incredible. Remarkable. And It is only the tip of the iceberg, there are so many more stories in me, trying to get out, that are just waiting for the ones in front of them to move out of the way!!!

So there it is in a nutshell. Please keep checking in and staying with me through this process. I will have some business developments for you soon....

Luv ya

James Brown, Our Loss

Well, you have probably heard that James Brown, The Godfather of Soul, passed away on Christmas Day, December 25, 2006. As I observed the evening news I was deeply saddened to hear of his death, shocked would be a more accurate description. James Brown has always been more than just an icon or entertainer, he has been the very thread of soul, woven delicately through almost every genre. Somehow, I took for granted that he would always be here, always remind us of good times, life and love.

His career accomplishments are astonishing. Check the records, he has ammassed over 800 songs in his repertoire. Before Prince and current day dancers, James Brown danced with ease, created a vibrant enjoyable stage show, complete with his collapse and Maseo's assistance. His ingenuity could not be denied, his creativity remains simply dynamic.
It is important to remember that Mr. Brown's accomplishments were not in today's media frenzied, easily accepting, crossover market. Rather, he began building a career and reputation in the racially divided America of the 1950's, releasing the classics "Think" and "Please, Please, Please" in 1959. While the nation was being swept by a movement, by change, by social responsibility and accountability, James Brown did not count his pennies and run and hide from the strife and struggle of his people. Instead, relying on his simple good vibes and gifted ability, he created a song for generations when he released 1968's "Say It Loud, I'm Black and I'm Proud." What better theme song, what better expression and acknowledgement of a young black generation that was in the midst of shattering segragation's legacy?

Finally, James Brown has been the template for Hip Hop, a music initially created to give a voice to the streets, an acknowledgement to the urban masses, a collective unity among our youth. During Hip Hop's Black Awareness movement of the 90's, James Browns lyrics and the music of his band, the JB's, could be found dancing through the airways under numerous smooth vocals. When looking for change, when relying on inspiring creativity, one can't help but turn to James Brown.

That said, I mourn for us, for the loss of this never ending flame of funk and life. While he is at rest, thought, we are left with his memory and legacy. A legacy which can never be minimized or denied.

For more information on James Brown, The Godfather of Soul, go to his website at www.godfatherofsoul.com.

(Originally posted at Myspace)

Its That Time Of Year

Well folks, its Christmas time. I have tried to avoid it, withdraw, be oblivious. This time of year inevitably leads to expectations, obligations and commitments. SOmetimes I can handle it. This year, I cannot. I am tired and worn down a bit. The lack of sleep has alot to do with it. I am glad it is just a physical tired, the mental tired stuff leads to depression, and I have no time for that!!!

But it is Christmas. And I am thankful for another year to celebrate the birth of Jesus, reaffirm my faith and belief in the Most High. That's not the Christmas I want to avoid. The event Im tryin to avoid is the present trading, when can we come visit, what are you cooking, don't tyou want to pack up your whole crew and (fill in the blank), why didn't you come by, once again no present from you? AHHHHH. I got five kids yall. A husband. A small crew of tight tight really hope you are well friends (who don't hear from me as often as they should). Parents. A host of family. I need to find a way to extend myself to those folks without over extending.

And you know what else, out of all those people, not one of us really needs anything. We are not in need of anything crucial. which is the blessing. The HUGE Blessing. I don't have a dime in my pocket today, which means I am under 100 bucks in my spending account. Not destitute. Not down and out. Not begging bread, or unable to eat. Electricity is on, water is running. We are healthy.

So, this year, I think I just need to be thankful. Take some time to thank God for sanity and security. Take time to thank God for teaching me how to put up my borders and protect what small part of me that I can. Keep that inner man insulated so that I can maintain a peaceful patient existences with family and friends.

After all this rambling, my point is this, my real goal for Christmas is thankfulness.

Season Finale

SO, tonite marked the official season finale of The Wire. Now, I realize that most of America saw it last Tuesday on HBO on Demand, but I waited for it, wanted to space it out, see whether the characters would follow the paths I wanted for them. See, this season was different for me for one simple reason, they took it to the kids.

If you read last weeks post, then you already know, pretty much, what I am talking about. Normally I can watch all of these types of shows with a certain detachment, these are grown folks after all, they made the choice to sling, sell, feen, fill in the blank. Therefore, there is minimal sympathy for that junkie that cathes a beat down, the drug dealer that catches a case, the bad guy hero who finally faces karma. Now, don't get me wrong, when The Wire terminated Idris Elba, I almost had to put them in no man's land, meaning on the "will not watch anymore" list. Come on, you do not terminate Stringer Bell. Never. He is the one dealer that you can believe finally walks away from the game, breaks lose with millions earned and gets to live that glamorous life.


But it seems that is a route Hollywood just cannot allow. I have only seen it one time, in Sugar Hill, and even he wound up paralyzed from the neck down with both his Daddy and brother dead (I am speaking of Wesly Snipes).

But anyway, I digress. My point originally was that when The Wire took it down to the kids, portrayed how our men and women wind up locked into this drug game trap, street corner trap, without much choice and no other options, it makes the story much more endearing, understandable, heartbreaking.


Michael, for example. How can someone pass judgement on this boy? Is he wrong for having his brother's father murdered? Ok, the point blank answer is always, yes, murder is a sin. But what about the fact that the man had molested him, would certainly, eventually, molest his younger brother, and was making aggressive moves to take over the household funds. Calculate in his junkie mother, a dysfunctional school system, a completely incompetent Social Services system, and what choices seem reasonable to any 13 year old? So the deal with the devil had to be made. Truth be told, how many folks under the same circumstances would have chosen differently. But now he is the property of Marlo Stanfield- this 13 year old is a life long street soldier. How long before he is dead, shot, in jail? How long before his little brother, despite all his efforts, is also in the game. Its all cyclical, isn't it?

So, I hope that The Wire gets some awards and recognition for traveling very dense dark waters, navigating them cleanly, directly, giving the most real reflection of inner city chaos that I have every seen. But they won't. Simply put, the cast never gets any nods, neither does the crew, and i don't want to say its because of the huge African American cast but, if it quacks like a duck, then you got to call it a ....

One more thing. Despite my best efforts to remain oblivious to this weeks show before tonight, I happened to see that JD Williams character, Bodie, was going to meet his end tonite. Truth be told, I didn't want to believe it. Bodie reminded me so much of a guy I grew up with, had a crazy crush on and, well, you know...But, they did the deed, killing off one of the more prolific representers of the street in years. His death bothered me as much as Stringers, pissed me off actually, but this year I can't lie to myself....I'll still be tuning in next season, no matter what.

Why, Dear God

The Wire presented a fascinating show tonite - fascinating if you are on the outside looking in, like watching a colony of ants as they go about life, the same cycles, the same twists and turns, new characters, different actors. The difference is that the Wire has done something I have never seen on television, started with the innocent child and portrayed how the socioeconomic factors, politics, systemic failures, parental failures, turn a caring protective older brother into a cold street gangster. It flips and accurately portrays the result of the spoiled ghetto rich kid, suddenly faced with brutal and real decisions, and unable to cope with them. And then it shows our faceless children, parentless, one in the system, one still with the parents(heroine addicts) and their difficulty even surviving on the street.



The one child, Randy, was desperate to stay out of state, out of the foster system. He snitched, told what he thought he knew about a murder, which turned out to be nothing, to stay with his foster mom - now the foster mother has been severely injured (i don't think she died, but have to watch again to be sure) and he is once again homeless, because of the unfortunate carelessness of a cop.



Which led me to wonder, why is suffering, true helpless, life shaping, thought forming, pain imposed on us as children. Is there a reason that the most devastating events have to occur during that phase of life, when our care, decisions, living, are really not our own. Or is it because, by the inherent nature of reliance based on age, it is the one time during this cycle called life, that we are open and able to be scarred. Think about it, every traumatic event, that shattered your stability, formed what you thought about you, happened 18 and under. I am willing to bet that the most traumatic events actually occurred 13 and under. Why. God protects the little children. They are inherently his. And those who come against children are supposed to suffer a mighty wrath. Why then, are children so exposed? So abused, so neglected, so prone to the real underbelly of the world. There is a silent tragedy, a belief that they are alone, no one cares, no one hears them.

While we worry about nonsense, whether a coworker likes us, or what he/she said, there is a child right now, being beaten, molested, witnessing abuse, feeding themselves, running away, fighting for an internal right to be.....just to be. To exist and breathe, without fright, without torment. Suffering children are not necessarily poor either, but might reside within your very house, silently swallowing the inability to reach out for help. Where can they turn? Adults play politics, don't want to step on toes, sure the child is exaggerating. Social services, school, teachers, well, what can you tell them that won't get you into more trouble. The system is designed to wait until a certain age and then build cages for them, their certain destination, or a spot in the morgue.

Even when I try not to, I can feel others pain, absorb it deeply into my being. I often shield my mind, by strictly monitoring what I watch, who I talk to, how much I take in, to avoid this pain. I opened up tonite, allowed it in, allowed tears for each and every child that I cannot help, will never know. The ones who will not grow old, will become hard and burdened with hate and will inflict similar pain on others. I cried tonite for our children in the system, dealing with heart wrenching judgement and ridiculous expectations, never allowed to really mourn their situation, come to terms with the abandonment, always compared against other kids who will never have any idea how it feels to witness and live violence.

There must be a reason, a divine order to this thing, the soul's preparation, in some way, for something bigger and better. I know that my finite understanding cannot grasp, leaving me only to mourn and ask why, dear God, why.....

Thursday Tidbits

Hello all, hope everything is well. Life on this side of the earth is going as well as can be accepted, I am grateful for the little things. For example, yesterday I found free parking at three meter sites, folks waived me down to give me their paid for spot. In DC that is unheard of. That alone made me feel like I walked on a clowd of blessings.

I am pleased to inform you that i have hired a publicist, well, not officially, i haven't sent the check yet, but I am excited about working with her. She believes in Intimate Musing (for all my friends who purchased copies - thank you) and Cherished Beginnings and is excited about representing me. This sistah is so professional and talented, a self starter and multitakser, reminds me of another woman I met in Athlanta named Michellda. She was so fly, so focused and on point, her energy and spirit really redirectedme, inspired me, when I was healing from a separation. Actually, her influence gave me the strength to decide to move forward with my life. And Belinda, the publicist, has that same energy. So I will give her full name and contact info once I can clearly in good conscious name her as my publicist, ie, after the contracts are signed.

On another matter, I am facing a personal dilemma with blogging. OK fellow bloggers, you know how this works, you post to share your thoughts and experiences, your ideas and beliefs. I definitely enjoy feedback, it is the highlight of my day. That you took time to tap in, check up on me, and actually write back is so special. But I am facing the problem that some of the folks I am actually most intimately connected (family) are now reading. And I don't know how I feel about it. On some level it makes me not want to post, want to hold a little back, cause I am very private in person and don't want to have to answer for what I share with the public. And I don't want my experiences used to hurt or harm other family members, or rub stuff in their faces. So I thought about shutting Discover Kai down completely over the past 48 hours. Gave it a great amount of thought, actually. But I am going to stick to it. I enjoy it, I love the space I have created, my isolated black oasis of thought and reflection, and I don't want to lost that.

Bebe Moore Campbell

I am so saddened to hear that one of my favorite authors has passed away. I am actually struggling to cope with this loss, another young spirit taken from the world, who offered so much hope, ingenuity, creativity and pure, soulful reflection. Brothers and Sisters was my first entry to her world, I subsequently devoured every book of hers I could find. She astounded me, this small woman with such a powerful mastery of fiction, particularly historical fiction. Her fictional recreation taken from the Emmett Till story and the LA Riots personalized great tragedies and were the first times I looked at the very real event behind the magnificent tragedy.

To her family, I extended my deepest sympathies. How could you know how loved your wife and mother was by complete strangers, her writing opening travels and paths to deeper understanding. Perhaps you do. Perhaps you will accept our regret, understand that while we may not experience your loss, we certainly also feel a deep pain.

Taken from The Grits - MySpace

MEDIA RELEASE FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: CONTACT: Linda Wharton-Boyd(202) 291-6435 –office; (202) 669-9139lindaboyd@whartongroupinc.com

Monday, November 27, 2006 BEST SELLING AUTHOR AND MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATEBEBE MOORE CAMPBELL DIES AT AGE 56

“Writer Fought Valiantly to the End in Battle Against Cancer”Washington, DC –

Today at 12:15 a. m. PST, internationally acclaimed best selling author, writer, and mental advocate, Elizabeth Bebe Moore Campbell Gordon died peacefully at her home in Los Angeles due to complications related to brain cancer. Campbell was diagnosed with a neurological condition in late February by world renowned neurosurgeon Dr. Keith Black who led her medical team. “My wife was a phenomenal woman who did it her way,” said husband Ellis Gordon Jr. “She loved her family and her career as a writer. We enjoyed life together as a team and we will miss her immensely and will lover her forever.”

An only child, Elizabeth Bebe Moore Campbell Gordon was born February 18, 1950 in Philadelphia Pennsylvania to Doris Moore and the late George L. P. Moore. She was educated in the Philadelphia Public Schools where she graduated by Philadelphia High School for Girls. She received her Bachelor of Science degree in Elementary Education from the University of Pittsburgh 1971 and appointed an Alumni Trustee of the University by Chancellor Mark Nordenberg on June 24, 2005. Upon graduation from the University of Pittsburgh, Elizabeth Bebe Moore Campbell became a teacher and taught elementary school in Atlanta Georgia from 1972 – 1975. Bebe quickly learned that teaching was not her life’s work. Searching for more, she enrolled in a writing class taught by renowned author Toni Cade Bambara.Eventually, Campbell left teaching and pursued a career in writing, submitting articles and stories to periodicals such as Essence, The New York Times, The Washington Post, Ebony, Seventeen Magazine, and Black Enterprise Magazine. Bebe’s career as a writer began to blossom, but not without the growing pains that young writers often experience.


Her determined spirit and passion for the craft kept her going and she became a well known journalist, writing articles for The New York Times Magazine, The Washington Post, The Los Angeles Times, Essence, Ebony, Black Enterprise, as well as other publications. She became a regular commentator for National Public Radio's "Morning Edition". Bebe Moore Campbell is a successful author and of four New York Times bestsellers: Brothers and Sisters, Singing in the Come Back Choir, What You Owe Me, and 72 Hour Hold. She is also the author of LA Times best seller and New York Times notable book of the year, Your Blues Ain’t Like Mine for which she won an NAACP Image Award for literature.Bebe’s latest research and writing interests in mental health was motivated by a loved one in her member who is struggling with mental illness. It was the catalyst for her first children's book, Sometimes My Mommy Gets Angry, which was published in September 2003. This book won the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) Outstanding Literature Award for 2003.

Following her children’s book, Campbell wrote best seller, 72 Hour Hold which is fictional story about a mother trying to cope with her daughter’s bi-polar disorder.As a result of her deep passion and concern for those with mental illness, Bebe has become an advocate for mental illness and she is the founding members of National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) - Inglewood, which is now, NAMI Urban Los Angeles. She is also a member of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. During her illness, Bebe not stopped writing. She wrote for as long as she could. This past September 2006, her latest children’s book was released, “Stompin’ at the Savory.” Early next year, another one of her children’s book will be released entitled, I’m So Hungry.” Once when asked about her favorite book Bebe received numerous awards in her lifetime, including a National Association of Negro Business and Professional Women's Literature Award (1978), the 1994 NAACP Image Award for literature, a National Endowment for the Arts Literature Grant (1980), and the University of Pittsburgh's Distinguished Alumni Award.

Earlier this year, Bebe was faced with a health challenge, which was perhaps one of her greatest of her life. She was diagnosed with brain cancer. She was encouraged by the many expressions of love and concerns from friends and supporters around the country, who gave her a special tribute in September of this year.

Elizabeth Bebe Moore Campbell Gordon leaves to mourn her passing, her husband of 22 years Ellis Gordon, Jr. (Los Angeles); her mother Doris Moore (Los Angeles), her two children, daughter Maia Campbell (Los Angeles), and son, Ellis Gordon, III (Mitchellville, Maryland), one son-in-law, Elias Gutierrez (Los Angeles), one daughter-in-law, Monica Gordon (Mitchellville, Maryland), two granddaughters, Elizabeth Elisha Gutierrez and Zakariya Gordon and a host of other relative and friends.

In lieu of flowers, the family is asking that donations be sent to two of her favorites, NAMI – Urban Los Angeles and The United Negro College Fund.<>IV> <>V>
>At the time of this release, funeral arrangements had not been made. For more information, please call Linda Wharton Boyd at (202) 669-9139.Selected Works by Bebe Moore Campbell includes:

• Stomping at the Savory ( 2006)• 72 Hour Hold (2005)• What You Owe Me (2001) • Singing in the Comeback Choir (1998) • Brothers and Sisters (1994) • Your Blues Ain't Like Mine (1992) • Sweet Summer: Growing Up With and Without My Dad (1990) • Successful Women, Angry Men: Backlash in the Two-Career Marriage (1986) • CHILDREN'S LITERATURE o Sometimes My Mommy Gets Angry, illustrated by E.B. Lewis (2003) • ARTICLES and ESSAYS o "The Boy in the River," Time, 153 8 March 1999: 35. o "Coming Together: Can We See Beyond the Color of Our Skin?" Essence, February 1995:25, 80-82. o "I Felt Rage-Then Fear," Parents, 68 February 1993: 94-95. o "Remember the 60's?" The Protest," Los Angeles Times, 13 December 1992: 1. o "Brothers and Sisters," New York Times Magazine, 23 August 1992: 6,18. o "Daddy's Girl," Essence, 23 June 1992: 72-74. o "Staying in the Community," Essence, 20 December 1989: 96-98. • RADIO PLAYS o Sugar on the Floor o Old Lady Shoeso Even with the Madness," debuted in New York in June 2003• FILMS o Brothers and Sisters (1995) o Sweet Summer (1989) o o "I Felt Rage-Then Fear," Parents, 68 February 1993: 94-95. o "Remember the 60's?" The Protest," Los Angeles Times, 13 December 1992: 1. o "Brothers and Sisters," New York Times Magazine, 23 August 1992: 6,18. o "Daddy's Girl," Essence, 23 June 1992: 72-74. o "Staying in the Community," Essence, 20 December 1989: 96-98. • RADIO PLAYS o Sugar on the Floor o Old Lady Shoeso Even with the Madness," debuted in New York in June 2003• FILMS o Brothers and Sisters (1995) o Sweet Summer (1989)

Wire highlights

It's heating up. Omar made his move - Prop Joe finally lost his cool, not to the Greeks or Avon but to the "Ni--- with a gun." Method Man made an appearance tonite - finally. Been waiting for his rugged self.

Well, the it is time for innocence to be lost. Michael is tasting the thrill of danger, the power of the hunt. He is the next Marlo, the next Avon, it is all in the works. Chris and Snoop are going to make Michael choose - Randy may be the next Wallace, although that would break my heart.

Carver has really come up this season - "You betta have a toothbrush on ya son, or its Baby Bookin tonite!" finally gave him a good line. He shouldve know betta than to give Randy to Herk, I am hopin Randy doesn't get killed on the streets.

Comedy is normally provided by Donut - the young car thief. but tonite fould mouth Kinard had me rolling. Too bad our babies really have to grow up so fast.


Tonites show was powerful! I must see it again, contemplating tappin one of my homies with the bootleg, but no, I need to keep it honest. I just don't want to wait until next week!!!

Tidbits - Poetry Reading

I'm loving life today!! It might be becuase I am just too tired to sweat the small stuff. I will not make my NANOWRIMO deadline, but I have an excellent new story in the works. It is a sci fi traveler and, I am very excited. I took the premise from a former short story and began an entirely new work.

My baby girl is far sighted. She has been tellin gme for the past few weeks that something changed - thank God I listended. Not too bad, but baby girl will be sporting glasses. I am sure she iwll find a way to make it cute, she is such a little princess.

Oh - GREAT NEWS- My first poetry reading will be December 2, 2004, from 2-4 at touchstone gallery. I am slighlty nervous, very excited. Anyone have any suggestions about how I should proceed - from memory or with paper. Speakin gof which, how should I dress - mother earthy or my normal conservative plain - read something one, black khaki or bluejean? Suggestions welcome...

Well I am finishing up the third Discover Kai joint Stay tuned. And check back with me tonite for Wire updates....

something special, something rare, something miraculous, something beautiful

Please forgive me, I got behind on my posts this week. Below was the "reflection" posted on myspace for Thanksgiving - hope you enjoyed the day!!! I had every intent to skip the traditional Thanksgiving reflections, no need to bore anybody with personal moments of reflection. But, I couldn't contain myself. So here I am, an hour after the passing of the day of grateful expression, overwhelmed with thankfulness and humbleness at where I stand on life's path. The truth is, I never thought I would escape my childhood world, emotional walls of barren expression and concrete pain, painted with the stripes of others manic depression and paternal sociopathic behavior. But I'm free, slid through the gate, climbed over barbed wire, bleeding and scarred, but free. My thankfulness goes further, because the physical escape does not always lead to spiritual release, forgiveness, or inner peace about circumstances which I have no power to change. That is the supernatural blessing, the unbelievable miracle that has been sprinkled my way. I could write tales that would spin your head, make tears roll, cause your insides to cringe. I choose not to because spreading pain is counter to the purpose of my gift. I am able to withhold that urge, twist and turn the event, observe it from ever angle to find that silver line of hope. I will give up only the necessary, if it brings my reader to the resolution that they are not alone in the suffering, but all things come to an end. For that I am thankful. Finally, for the energy that chose me to "come through unto life to be a beautiful reflection of His grace." Alright, I expect you to recognize and understand L-Boogie's lyrics. One of my girls, who the doctor claimed had no heartbreak and attempted to force a D&C while she was in my womb, stands before me healthy, a daily miracle. A test of my faith, belief, calm to get that second opinion, take that extra effort to fight for her life and avoid the undercover population control used by that doctor. I came to that conclusion because it was the satelite office to my regular one, the "in the hood" counterpart to my plush office in the 'burbs. Do I really have to explain, ya'll? Just by being there my lawyer identity was hidden, and, without the title, they treated me just like any other black girl from the hood. Wouldn't even take the time to talk to me about my child, my condition, anything. Brought back that helpless feeling, but just for a second. But, I digress. The point is, I was fortunate enough to have the means and access to put forth the extra effort, the extra search for proof of life, and subsequently raise hell on behalf of the many who weren't able to. I won't list my kids, but let me just say that for each day of reckless play, energized expression and glints of their hidden talents, I am thankful. If you took the time to read this, to share in the emotional overload I am feeling at this moment, I am thankful if this touched you in any way. I hope that today (yesterday) you recalled something special, something rare, something miraculous, something beautiful and just took a moment to reflect and give thanks. Peace a.Kai Check out daily posts at www.discoverkai.blogspot.com

The regular weekly update and other things

Well - ya'll know how I do. I will post pictures of my favorites, because I simply cannot help myself. I love this show. I don't want to give away the plot at all, but I love this show. I will say that Omar's revenge will be sweet - hours of nonstop surveillance have to pay off. He is completely psychopathic. And Chris and Snoop - I can't figure out who is the funniest to me Snoop, with her brilliant one liners, or that adorable hopper Donut (picture above behind the wheel). Luckily I missed the scene with the cop, woulda made me furious.

In other matters, I am trying to finish up this NaNo thing with some dignity. I mean, just a little bit. So excited, I talked two other folks into doing it, and now they have surpassed me by the thousands. Just pathetic!!

I have to get some articles submitted, so I will be working like a hustler over the next two days. But I made some commitments that I really am trying to keep. Also, got the third Discover Kai collection at the end of the month and am hoping an editor can get to Life the Series before month's end.

Speaking of which, it seems impossible to finish this story. I have backed myself into a moral corner. By letting them do the deed, the future is no longer clear, which is why I wrote it in the first place. The conclusion was coming around too easily, Kwaku and Lani meet in Delaware and make up, Kenya and her mother con, oops calm, Christopher back into complacency, although things are not the same again. But for the sake of his son, his family, appearances, he will stay. He is just that type of brotha (they do exist you know).

But it was just too easy. So I threw in the wrench. Lani is in DE, but Kwaku can't catch up to her. Chris calls and goes to her. Now what? How can Lani go back. Do Lani and Chris carry guilt? Are Lani and Chris wrong (after all they still think their spouses did the deed)? What type of ending is there for Lani after all....Well I am going to have something together by tomorrow night, so stay posted.

Oh, and, just for good measure, take a few more looks at the Wire's cast, cause, why not?

Oh yeah, let me dig up another picture of JD (Bodie), for good measure. Sure wish Stringer Bell would make an appearance, as a ghost or dream or somethin...

The Return of the Piano

Time has flown past and I haven't dropped in to post a little reflection. Whats going on with me? Well, first things first, I got back my PIANO!! I am so excited, thrilled, thankful. See, when I moved, my mother gave the piano to her friends. That was ten years ago. They told me during a visit last summer that the piano was still mine, I could retrieve it whenever. Now get this, they even kept all my original piano books, notes, drawing, writings, everything, in the piano seat. How special is that? Well my piano teacher, Mr. Earl Bethea, who was also a music teacher and Professor at Hochstein Music School, but taught lessons on the side, dies several years ago. This is all I had to remember thos 9 years of sitting in his immaculate house, with small Mozart busts, and beautiful art, baby grand pianos and exquisite antique furniture and receiving training. He was strict, but when I accomplished something, a comment from an expert and perfectionist, and wonderfully talented man like him meant the world. There were times, after hard parental evenings and mornings, when lessons in his house were the only stable sane thing. He would look in my face, rub my back, treat me a little more comforting on those days. He understand - my childhood pain was all over my face.

So any, I loved Mr. Bethea in a unique, admiring, awe inspiring way. Just like I love my piano. And the stability that it and those regimented lessons brought me. I am going to teach my girls the basics, start formal lessons in the spring. But I can't wait to just go through those old books, stare at his immaculate script, reminisce on over ten years of training.

I quit playing. Wanted so hard to fit in, be cool, hang. Got sick of my mother inserting herself in making sure I practiced, using it as another reason to pick at me. She offered the ultimatum - "I need to save my money, wasting all this money on you." Spite made me say "Fine!" Anything to hurt her, shut her up, then, the 17 year old mind set on revenge and escape. But I actually hurt myself in the process.

I can't turn back time. And I can't dwell on the past, too much internal sadness. I refuse to regret anymore, have to focus on the good times. But I am going to pick up where I left off. And I can't wait...

*A sincere thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Eugene Montgomery, I have no words to express my gratitude.*

Gerald Levert

It seems that I completely dropped the ball. I failed to take a moment to mention Mr. Gerald Levert and the deep loss and sense of regret that at his sudden departure. There isn't much I can say that you don't already know, the Leverts represented in a fierce proud way, and his life was a moniker to that. Casanova and other Levert hits were true R&B, those brotha's could croon, it was obviously in the blood. I recall watching the music montage in New JAck City, when Levert closed out "Living Just Enough" - their melody perfect, their stroll just right.

Of course, LSG was a phenom hit. I don't know why they didn't stay together, I was waiting for the rumored second album. But more endearing was getting an opportunity to observe the inner workings of his family, when his daughter celebrated her Sweet Sixteen last year. Its funny, that was the show I wanted to see the most, well that and LA Reid's and Pebbles son, and of course it was the one I always missed.

When I finally caught it, I was struck by their family closeness, it wasn't a show, these brothas stuck together. And when the daughter played around with her performance, Gerald was very clear, that she would not be allowed to tarnish the family name, even if that meant cancelling her little time in the spotlight.

I gained a tremendous amount of respect for him, his influence was evident in his seed. And I have no words to express how a community who only knew his voice and public persona could still be so deeply tied to his charming smile and voluminous voice, but we are. Tremendously so.

May God bless and keep his family throughout this emotional trial.

Unsung Hero's

Tonight's show returned to the usual exciting level - it is going to be interestin to see how Omar handles his freedom, an dif he takes it straight to Marlo. The potential of a show down between him and Chris is hot - just two brothas with guns and street mystique, but i doubt it will happen. The Wire eliminates that predictable.

Anyway, Michael is in a no win situation. the problem is his mom is so cracked out and dependent, if he gets this man killed another will just take his place. it probably won't be too long before she have another baby, Michael can't raise them all. Interesting they named him Michael - he is a warrior angel, a chief, for real.

Finally - the school forum as a template of life is great. Did you notice how the students were completely deflated and depressed when they were treated to a steak dinner. Culture shock, a realization that an entire world exists other ethan theirs, but it scared them cause they were lost in it. Reacted by upping the wild kidz act. Returning to what they are expected to be, thuggin up the music and picking fights, one kid repeatedly asking for Mickey D's - staple of the ghetto. Tru but sad.



I wanted to put a picture on here of the cop who is finally steppin it up, but anytime I have a chance to post Bodie's macho self, I gotta go for it. I love this brotha - JD Williams - he got it right, down to the doo rag and the spit. Check it, my favorite line of his, from the entire season - "His heart pump Kool-aid" when answering Stringer about Wallace's heart. Favorite this series - "Yeah, now I know why is you what you is" I love it!!

Let me give a shout out to Mr Man cop, at least I am finally starting to like him:



And check it - I remember you on the Cosby Show too - like Stacy Dash, you been in the game for a minute...

Book Reviews, Website, Articles, Story Updates

Hey all - how is everything. Over here, everything remains everything. Dang Lauryn, when are gonna get some more music. I digress. Anyway, I have written the next 2 chapters to Life, please bare with me, I just have to find time to actually post them, there are languishing in handwriting hell in my notebook.

Someone asked what my writing process is. I don't have one. Really. I just realized, as it comes to me I type it or jot it down, which leads to indecisherable notes written upside down in the margins of other documents that I have to later translate and recall into a story. I have to get a better process going. NaNoWriMo is showing that. Forcing myself to sit down and write according to a schedule is much more diccifulct than I ever imagined. My project is draggin and I haven't posted the last three chapters - (they will be up by tomorrow night, after Life and my next article for The Lost Genre).

So, how do I organize myself. And how do I preserve my articles and works for future reference, since the web is so fleeting. Any suggestions.

In other news, I have signed on the review poetry and stories for Read Zone Book Reviews book club. I am so excited!! I can't even explain it. Please follow my reviews and let me know your thoughts.

Well, thats it for now. Have patience with me - I also launched my website , and have been working on updating that. So many balls in the air, and I refuse to let one drop until I decide to put all these bad boys down and go take a seat. Please, check out the website and let me know your thoughts.

Peace.

Well folks, I voted this morning. Yep, if you read my latest post to Sojournals, then you know that I had some voter confusion. The main issue was whether I should overlook the Republican party attached to Lt Gov Steele and vote for him anyway, you know, cause he's a black man. Not a good enough reason, well you can't tell him and the Republicans that. You have never seen a machine in motion like the one running his campaign. Could it be that these are the same folks behind, uhm, say, Bush? I don't know. But what I do know is that he littered the black county I live in with signs painted in Green Red and Black strips, stating "Don't be a SLAVE to the Democrats."

I am not kidding. Doesn't stop there - his campaign folks were rumors to be passing out flyers that stated he was supported by none other than Democratic candidate, until his recent defeat, Kweise Mfume. Now he did not have Mfume's endorsement, but that can all be cleared up after the election. Isn't that how it works? For the Republicans anyway.

I don't know how, but he managed to get support from Wayne Curry and other prominent Democrats. I will keep my opinions on that to myself, don't want to falsely accuse or incriminate anyone. However, Russell Simmons and Kathy Hughes joining his campaign just seemed all too well orchestrated. I won't speak against Simmons, but is there any doubt that Hughes follows the corporate dollar and is tied to some orchestrating power. The folks who have been allowed to thrive came together to support this guy so flawlessly, even though they don't live here and have little to do with MD.

So, I stood at the polls today, for the first time, disgusted with the Black candidate. Disgusted that my blackness was being packaged and marketed to me by the Republican party. Disgusted that I am supposed to be more impressed with Simmons bling bling than noticing that the Republican candidate has stayed in line with the Bush administrations. Disgusted that Steeles popularity is supposed to blind me from the bigger issues, like the Republicans need to retain control of Congress, therefore a vote for any Republican, right now, is a vote for Bush and the current administration. Disgusted at the basic disregard of taste and class that would prohibit the Slave, power to the people signs, and Civil Rights, back of the bus, reference to Kweise Mfume (radio campaigns).

Just disgusted in general.....

I voted for Cardin

Other News

In other news tonight, I completed publishing my second book of poetry. They are flowing out of me right now, so I am trying to make the most out of it. I am excited about this one, I think it is better than the first and the poems are stronger. I have requested reviews from some respected poets and hope that they enjoy the book. If not, I won't give up, I will keep pluggin and trying to hone the craft until it is where it needs to be.

I am terribly behind in my NaNoWriMo challenge. I have no idea how many words I have, but it is pathetic, I promise. And my poor character Roni has been completely neglected. Organization is the key, but how does an unorganized person even get into position to organize herself. This should be interesting.

Oh yeah. Almost forgot. I started my website. I should be trying to work on it tonight, but, as usual, I am out of time. But I have gotten a general format down and am looking forward to filling in the blanks later. The url is, of course, www.discoverkai.com.

The Wire- Michael, child strength

OK - so you know what tonites post is goin got be about. The Wire fed me another dose, and I couldn't get enough. Its a good thing I am no longer with Direct TV - I would be watching it again, instead of writing, and I am desperately behind. The character Michael is phenomnal and the child playing it captures it all. The prototype for a baby being the man of the house. Unbelievable. I didn't feel sorry for him, cause I know he's going to be alright, but he sure has the world on his shoulders right now.

Tonights fodder was Marlo's henchmen running around town tryin to identify New York hustlers. Yankees? Did Snoop really call them that? Hilarious. Quote of the night, snoop tellin her partner he was going to have to cough up $800.00 for the nail gun. Classic.

I'm not sure that the separate classroom philosophy is working, other than giving the tv viewer some idea about the innerworkings of the corner kids mindset. Would it work in real life. I doubt it. But it is interesting that they took such a real approach with diagnosing the world as seen inside out by children of the streets.

Belly Dancing

You'll never guess what I did yesterday. I actually attended my first belly dancing class. Yes, and trust me, I have no intentions on showing my belly. But, I figured the class would be the perfect way to isolate my problem area, stretched out by 8lb10oz and 7lb3oz babies, in womb, together.

The class was wonderful. Not just becuase of the strengthening of muscles, but it made me feel womanly, lovely, helping usher my sexy back! And I am noticing that I must be entering a season of "womandom." From the Dominican shop to my bellydancing class, my environment is changing to incorporate all things beautiful and to submerge myself into the wonder of womanness. BTW- the instructor had a slightly loose belly, and was shaking it something proud. Alright now.....

So I am going to keep it up, and resume working out on the regular, like I did prekids. I am ready to be comfortable in the skin I am in, again. But wait, next week we get our gold waist belts. Now ya'll know, thats just going to be trouble for me. Let me get in shape AND have a gold belt to shake and shimmer, enhancing the waist down. Im going to be unstoppable, and my man is going to have a show on his hands!!!!

Behind Schedule (of course)

I am behind schedule in a big way. I keep falling asleep at the computer!! normally I blog between midnight and 3am, but I am up by 7 to get my day started.... So my body is slowly shutting down.

Which got me to thinking, why am I doing so much at one time. I don't really know, except I have this urgent feeling that now is the time and I have to be prepared when that slit in opportunity opens wide enough for me to slide through. I am excited and prepared. I want to wallow in the writing, roll around in it, inhale and exhale it. Does that make sense?

Of course not, but its like discovering this tiny seed and watering it and feeding it. It has been slowly growin for years, then suddenly the root dug deep, offshoots have sprouted and I am just waiting, with bated breath, for the bloom that must be next! Open up, girlfriend, its time to bloom!! (Yes, I talk to myself. Most only children do. I forgive you for not understanding)

In other matters - I have found an illustrator for The Quest for the Armor Series. His name is The Red Salamander Zaruga and he is off the hook. Hi talent is so pure and energy so amazing. Awe inspiring. I gave him a little bit of the series and he could describe the character I imagined, in perfect detail. In touch with that third eye, deeply dug into his gift.....You are not going to believe what the two of us are going to come up with, it is going to blaze!!!

I have found the illustrator who is perfect for The Marks comic project and development. Ya'll, this Latino brotha's stuff is so raw, nasty, true, jagged, inspiring , fresh......check it out(Santiago). I have made two pleas for him to read my work and get back to me - but I havn't heard anything yet :(
Let's hope he's interested.

I will keep you posted.

Im Doin NaNoWriMo Baby!!!

On another note, I have joined the NaNoWriMo competition. THat's right, baby, 50,000 words in 30 days or bust. I have no idea what the topic of my novel will be, the plot, the characters, nothin. I am following the rules and starting with a blank slate. I will be posting the story at the NaNoWriMo portion of the Discover Kai site. Thats rite, another link. The whole point of this competition is to just write, not think about, not organize it, just write as I may. Please check in and see if I am following a clear line of conciousness, going somewhere, or straying off into left field....

Missed Halloween

Today is Halloween. I am good with Halloween. Since I am easily terrified by everything bizarre or weird, I have a simple solution. Halloween is eat candy, make cupcakes, dress up cute and enjoy yourself day. Nothin more. My girls and I have a good time, cooking, dancing, ladying it up. Then hubby takes them to a harvest festival.

But this year, working 75 hours weeks, I completely forgot today was Halloween. I did. And, even worse, I dont' feel that bad about it. I can easily make it up, and the girls will enjoy cooking and dancing, like the always do. I've trained them well. The goul and ghots, goblin, trick or treat stuff, they won't miss, cause they never had it anyway. So I got a miss a holiday pass on this one. Thankfully they will never know the difference. They will attend their festival, eat candy, and go to sleep in comfort, not aware that mommy completely dropped the ball....

Damaged Goods

I wonder why the lastest incident always brings up the first. I know, that wasn't very clear. I guess I was referring to a quote Valerie Wilson Wesley's character, Tamara Hayle, often quoted. The last death always brings up the first. For me, lately, that last painful event is taking me down memory lane, to some painful child hood stuff. I was trying to flesh out Lani's character and the pain she encountered that caused her to search for a better life. She is the wife of the main character in Life-The Series. So, while I was trying to feel her pain, I tapped into a whole terrible childhood experience that I had thought was forgotten. It came back crystal clear, like watching a horror flick. And I didn't know what to do with it, because it is one of the many "we dont talk about them now that we are righteous" incidents from the past.

I posted a poem about it named Don't Say a Word. To tell you the truth, I felt a lot better after publishing the poem, as if the pain of it all was released. But it is incredible, recalling my past through adult eyes. I can't imagine some of the situations. I'm not tryin to pass judgement and I understand that each person is different, but what were my parents thinking. Really!! I mean, there are so many situations that I couldn't even imagine exposing my kids to, yet, there I was, right in the thick of things. Somehow, these two people created in me a sense of responsibility and protection that neither of them really practiced. Or was it just the life experiences and the pain itself, that has put in place those borders. I guess I'll never know.

One thing I know for certain, I was placed in many situations where adults view the child sadly, but subsequently writes him/her off. Damaged becuase of circumstances. He/she will never be able to make it because their mother...........Instead I grew strong, clear, more resolute, a little less gullible. So don't write kids off so easily, just because their parents are foolish or worse. You may be the one difference, the light in the mist, enabling them to tear through the tangled paths their parents weaved, into clarity and an uncomplicated existence....

WIRE update (of course)

Well, first things first, I caught the Wire tonight. The show is still phenomenal, but I was relieved that Maestro's character got off the hook. I just didn't want to see the system chew up another child on technicalities. Also, I find Cuttie's character annoying. I always have, but could never figure out why until tonight. This guy is supposed to be native B-Mo, so the drawn out awkward ebonics just is not working. It actually got worse this year, or he has more speaking parts, I can't tell. he has the righteous look, so keep around the ex con dogooder persona, just limit his speaking roles - please!! he distracted me so much, I went to refill on snacks during his scenes, the first time in two years I have left the couch during an episode. Of course, for those Wire fans in the know, I took snack and bathroom breaks quite often during season 2......

I guess Omar has finally been dethroned. Stripped of his mystique, even if he gets out of this one alive. Im stilla fan, although my mental love affair with Stringer Bell makes him a psuedo enemy. But I am rooting for him to take down Marlo. And, are we going to get a glimpse of Avon this season? I am already nostalgic for the old crew, complete with WeeBay asking for more horseradish......but those days are past, huh?

The Dominican Shop

In 2000 a NY girlfriend strutted into the room, hair sparkling and shiny, body for days. This was someone who was always stylish and kept the latest cut, but her hair quality, like many of us, was dull and broken. Of course sistahs flocked to her like flies to honey.

"I discovered this cute litte Dominican shop," she responded. Huh? No, no way. The Beuty SHop is part of our culture, our chance to tap into all different types of Black women. I couldn't give that up to another culture!! Now, admittedly, I hated my current shop. Mean ass folks, always gossiping, eye rolling, snapping heads or, worse, complete indifference as if anyone cute was nonexistent. I didn't want my hair fried, freeze curled in an unnatural form, was sick of the constant fight to not get another trim, no I don't want hte latest funky cut, hell no, I am not cutting my hair to put in weave. I was in the standard back woman hair salon hell. Floatin from shop to shop, hairdresser to hairdresser. Scabs on scalp from leaving the perm to cook. It just went on and on. At some shops. Others were absolutely perfect, a breath of fresh air, until the proprieter refused to pay the staff on time. THen I would schedule apporintments only to find my stylist and her entire crew fires, "no forwarding number provided."

So, I stepped out on my culture. Tip toed over to the Hair Cuttery, cause it looked simple and easy. It was. FOund a sister who had the midas touch, standard wash and set under 50. Can't beat it.

By complete coincidence a coworker mentioned the same shop my girldfriend told me about years ago. On a whim I joined her. The Dominican sisters were professional, sweet, talking amongst themselves, but never cattily targeting clients. These women oozed sexuality and confidence, like we did in our younger days, before assimilation demanded that we cut off and pack away anything remotely suggestive. They washed, conditioned, roller set then blow dries my short bob. I freaked, how much heat were they going to use. But every women in that shop had healthy, bouncy hair. So I sat still and waited to see what the fuss was about. I quickly found out.

1: My hair has never felt so light in my life
2: My hair has held up four days later, without a dandruff flake, uncommon for my dry scalp
3: My hair looked good and I felt great
4: Men were clocking when I left the shop
5: Men were clockin when I left the shop and, most importantly,
6: Men were clockin when I left the shop

So, the cultural thing tied to the beauty shop has been unwound, untangled and cut in 20 different placed. I am free of it. So so sorry, my girls won't have th shop expereince of my child hood. But I took them to the Dominican shop today, and they walked out believing, and behaving like queens, their natural brown beauty affirmed by all the spectacular love and support they received. Their hair bounced all over their head while, to the entertainment of the entire shop, the swung their hair with every exagerated head turn. Without the help of chemicals. I didnt even have to request a little girl style, they hooked my babies up. Worth every penny......

Interested in the shop - send me an email, ID ing yourself, and I will give uo the name and address -

Baby Alcohol

My daughter's class took a trip to the National Zoo today and I volunteered to chaperone. With work, my writing, and other demands, she and I have limited one on one, girl time, so I thought it would be fun. And it was. I have done the Zoo chaperone thing a number of times, believe me, I have this thing down to a science.

Anyway, we boarded the bus to leave, twenty somethin exhausted children of every color black color with the exception of one child. Now, why would I mention that? Well, inevitably the baby girl chants and hand clapping began, which I am thrilled about. I took my daughter out of private school last year to try this new program, I want a great education and some well rounded socialization. 'Cuase my little girl's momma, me, was a foot stoppin, double dutch jumpin, jacks playin, sing song struttin little somethin.

Anyway, after going through the standards, Miss Mary Mack and Shame Shame Shame, two little girls busted into (Name) and (Name) sitting in a tree. Now if you don't know the song goes something like this :
Tina and Mike, sittin in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes the baby in a baby carriage.

Now, I really don't want my daughter singin it all, but at least the order is consistent with my basic values, although its a bit much when you really think about it. But anyway, the two little girsl changed the song to:
First comes love. Then comes baby. Then comes baby drinking alcohol.

Huh?

Ok, so the first few times they sang it, I waited patiently for their parents, who were sitting next to them to say something. Nothin. Finally, the teacher interceded. Talked about the song and its level of inappropriateness. Parents faces remained blank.

Oh, where, where do I begin? Whats wrong with this picture, let's back up? If my momma wasn't there, yes, there was some awful stuff I would sing. I mean, at least they don't know Fruit Cock Tail yet, that was our elementary favorite. But in front of my mother. Oh NO!

So there is a boundary issue that has not been addressed and is seemingly unrecognizable. They were quite comfortable with their drunk baby chant, right in the seat next to their mothers.

Then, there is a definite loss of some steps in the revised song. Now, I know love and marriage , the idea, doesn't always happen, but is it wrong to try to drill that order into 5 year old girls, set a standard to achieve? And no, they don't need a marriage for the baby, but, Im just sayin. Its like when everyone blasted Brandy because of her fronted marriage. Uh, well, that's a bit different, I guess, but I can see why she tried to lie, keep a "good girl" image - fakin a marriage and basing a reality show on it is kinda sad though.

I don't know. The whole thing just had me confused. Got me thinkin about countin out pennies again, coughin up the 780 a month, just for kindergarten.....at least the Christian school will scare them into keepin the raunchy stuff undercover, right?

How Many Loves

How many loves does a person get in one life? Do we meet them all, or only if one relationship ends. I guess the first definition necessary is the concept of love. When I speak of love, Im talking about infatuation mixed with anticipation, adoration stirred in. Im talkin about mind spinnin, can't focus on nothin else, must breathe you, inhibit and anticipate you, love. Not the deeper, we been together, got your back down for whatever, boring or exciting, in it to win it love. There is a difference.

It would be a sad thing if we were only afforded that one time, teen young adult love. The one time of total consumption by the feeling because real life hasn't set it. I like to think that God bestows that love on the searching heart at the time in life it is necessary. That He determines we're ready, plants it on us, and watches what we do with the gift. (complete speculation, not biblically based. that would be research and Ive done enough of that today)

There are friends that tell me they have never been in love. I don't believe them. I know its not true. I watched them, in love, but torn, becuase love did not fit the form shaped by Hollywood, Disney and Mama's love stories. I witnessed love dismissed because of their inate inability to not forgive, not trust, not let God step in. Wouldn't it seem just too cruel, to exist on this desolate realm, and never experience the bursting wonder of emotion that is love.....

Sojournals Contributor

Guess what ya'll.......... I have been approved to be a contributing writer to The Sojournals, a wonderful site founded by Ms. Kelli Anderson. I am going to post articles about life, book reviews, things that make you go hmm.... I have quite a few examples, right, with all these kids. I am very excited!
Wish me luck, first post is tomorrow.

WHAT IS THE SOJOURNALS? The Sojournals, an e-mail newsletter and website is a guide for everyday people attempting to live more exciting lives. Our goal is to encourage everyone to have and create stimulating new experiences, through reading the discoveries of others, in particular your's truly (founder and Editor) Miss Kelli M. Anderson. If you want to know more visit The Sojournals.

MC Lyte

This morning I woke up with a rare blast from the past floating through my mind. It was the snippet from self destruction that I repeated ad nauseum as a teenager. "Funky freshed dressed to impress, ready to party....." Now, those of you in the know recognize the MC Lyte joint, the most classic phrase in the song, in my opinion anyway. I used to love MC Lyte. Lyte as a Rock played on my bedroom tape cassette over and over until the film snapped. It was required listening while we ladies prepared for whatever party or social function, preening to capture the attention of the bboy, hip hop lovin boys....

MC Lyte is still doin her thing. Not at the Queen Latifah level, but certainly still in the game. I was very disappointed when BET had its little ode to hip hop on the awards (was it last year?) and only let her spit a verse. Like she was an afterthought or something, instead of the very definition of b-girl for a generation that wasn't cutesy cutesy, but down for a people, African Bombada, lovin music girls. Baggy jeans, big gold hoop earrings, nameplate, your man's chain, if you had game and flava, stacked hair cut, etc...You know 'round the way girls - which we very much were. And knowing all the lyrics to Lyte was a prerequisite to stylin. Yeah, Salt n Peppa had their place too, as did Roxanne, but Lyte deserves a top spot.

So, I was boppin around hummin, "to get inside you paid a whole ten dollars..." Got to the metro this morning and, true story, Lyte was on the newspaper cover. To receive VHI honors. Its about damn time. So, this post is to MC Lyte, the original b-girl, who inspired flyness, uniqueness and rawness, without strippin and without compromise.....

Cherished Beginnings

So, I have published my first book of poetry. I am very excited. This decision is a result of outrage expressed over the volume of poetry lingering on my blog. I decided that I am still not going for making a profit, rather I would take the opportunity to publish another work, placing my grand number of published works at .....3. What an accomplishment! Oh, you scoffin at my number? Let me qualify it, three in just under 6 months, I don't think thats bad at all. I thought a deal was going through with my novel series, but it just didnt work out. I am going to have to put some other things in the works for that series, it is my baby.

So, Discover Kai Poetry Cherished Beginnings, will basically be all of my first posts to the site. I am going to sell it for free, (just recoup shipping and handling) and make it downloadable. the idea is to get it out there, let it spread.... I hope its enjoyed.

Yesterday, HBO starved us Wire addicted folks. Well, not all of us, just the "more honest" ones, cause, from what I am hearing, it is being bootlegged like crazy. I have to stop folks in midsentence from revealing the entire season. Amazing. I will plod along with HBO, take my Wire in doses, and devour the season this winter after the conclusion.... Sure hope they keep showing Bodi, he is the embodiment of evey corner slinger we ever liked. Yes, I grew up in the inner city, and corner slingers were ex classmates and actually human beings that we still liked, had crushes on, flirted with, etc....
Not condoning, just sayin....

(Since I'm posting from work, Bodi's picture and book cover will be added later :))

Sexy Smart Black Men

I discovered a past associate who has a similar path in this writing thing. Talking to him opens miles of imagination for me, someone who is consumed by the old testiment, sci fi, and black issues - a writing soul mate. In this midst of our discussion he mentioned Mos Def, and the standard chill went thru me. He smiled, but was caught by surprise. I couldn't help it ya'll, he brings out the groupie in me. Which raises the question, why do we find Mos Def so attractive?

I think it is one of the indescribable things, similar to Pharrell, or Hill Harper, Eric Michael Dyson. It is not a physical thing, although Mos Def's entire appearance is equally appeasing to me. But I believe that we all have a belief in the ability of Black men to transcend the commoness, to display their brilliance and intuitiveness, while still keeping it real, gully, sexy. When you spot it, the Black man that has accepted the pursuit of knowledge with want and desire, is not afraid to educate and play abit, there is something so eternally sexy about that.....its like, the first taste of dark chocalate after a weeklong long starvation (I fast sometimes ya'll). So sweet and bitter, chills flow through the mouth, sweet floods the tongue, your head swoons temporary, mouth waters at anticipation of more. Yeah, that's what Mos Def does. Idris Elba. Terrance Howard. Common. Common. Common. Raheem Devaughn. John Legend. Morris Chestnut. Morris Chestnut. Talib Kwali (sp?). Thank God, there is more than one, a few more I could list ( I can't think of the brotha's from Soul Food the movie - that played Lem), some I can't even think of right now, cause Mos Def has clogged up the cognitive thought line - makes me think of the poem Brother, Damn.......Feel free to let me know who has that effect on you (LOL)

High School Memories

I woke up this morning, reminscing on high school. It's because I am working on Stream in the Desert and recalling all type of highschool situations to tap into some creative emotion. Man, the sight of a fine boy, a simple hug a wink...ooooh, emotions were so easy then. I had a serious crush on two boys - but I will never admit who they were, and no, my ex Wilson folks, its not who you think. So anyway, today is a day of reminscing on love, easiness, simplicity, youth. I never realized that I would be at a point, when the memory of those would bring comfort. But you are formed by those relationships, and they still matter. So, to my class of 91 at Wilson Magnet High, I love ya'll man.....

Rules of Engagement

What are the rules of dating, engaging, interacting with that opposite sex? And how do we teach them to our little girls. This has been a big issue over the last two weeks as I have been the listening ear to one of my friends tumultuous relationships. It is the inspiration for rejected happiness - a result of continuous conversations about how my friend doesn't feel happy, the realtionship doesn't create happiness, he can't maintain happiness, etc...happiness, in that context, just seems so fleeting.

My girlfriend told me something yesterday, in response to my lecture about making her man wait, man up, step forward and pursue - rather than being babyed ad nauseum. She said, "my mother never told me anything about relationships.....I thought you kept a man by fulfilling his every need." That amazed me. That is not our call. Now don't get me wrong, when you want to take care of your man, there is nothin wrong with it. But when the relationship is completely one sided, you are giving and taking care of, and he is just taking, then something is wrong. My friend gave over and beyond. But, is it all his fault for being a taker or are we somewhat to blame, for enabling the dependant person, making him worse.....

I don't know - I don't have any answers. I watch hip hop videos and watch my mommas define their success by how much cha cha was dispensed for that bling and my heart hurts. I witness my girlfriend go thru this painful separation, holding on to an idea of a relationship, and my heart hurts. I try to even begin to explain the process of self preservation while exploring love to nieces, young girlfriends, daughters, and my heart hurts. Where do I begin?

Why Love?

My fellow poet and blogger, Shai Davis, who shares a middle name, has a wonderful poem on her site Drawn 2 Words. She writes "I keep promising myself I will stop writing about love." Which led me to the question, why do we spend so much time, thought, emotion on love? Yesterday I worked twelve hours, and played Jill Scott the entire day. Two albums consumed my attention for twelve hours, about love.

What is it that captures us? Even after debating politics or the state of our people, discussing the world and life, we always come back to love. No matter how many times I have tried to draft something different, a love related poem springs to my heart, a love based story comes to mind. I am convinced that love is the purity of God, the only emotion that is shocking and comforting, affirming and overwhelming. When we suffer, it is not love, it is the human reaction to or response while in love. Love itself is always pure. And I can't ever get enough.

So I guess we will write on, and dream on, and reminisce about love. Blush, gasp, inhale, exhale and remember loves effects. See there, I feel another poem coming on.....