Its That Time Of Year

Well folks, its Christmas time. I have tried to avoid it, withdraw, be oblivious. This time of year inevitably leads to expectations, obligations and commitments. SOmetimes I can handle it. This year, I cannot. I am tired and worn down a bit. The lack of sleep has alot to do with it. I am glad it is just a physical tired, the mental tired stuff leads to depression, and I have no time for that!!!

But it is Christmas. And I am thankful for another year to celebrate the birth of Jesus, reaffirm my faith and belief in the Most High. That's not the Christmas I want to avoid. The event Im tryin to avoid is the present trading, when can we come visit, what are you cooking, don't tyou want to pack up your whole crew and (fill in the blank), why didn't you come by, once again no present from you? AHHHHH. I got five kids yall. A husband. A small crew of tight tight really hope you are well friends (who don't hear from me as often as they should). Parents. A host of family. I need to find a way to extend myself to those folks without over extending.

And you know what else, out of all those people, not one of us really needs anything. We are not in need of anything crucial. which is the blessing. The HUGE Blessing. I don't have a dime in my pocket today, which means I am under 100 bucks in my spending account. Not destitute. Not down and out. Not begging bread, or unable to eat. Electricity is on, water is running. We are healthy.

So, this year, I think I just need to be thankful. Take some time to thank God for sanity and security. Take time to thank God for teaching me how to put up my borders and protect what small part of me that I can. Keep that inner man insulated so that I can maintain a peaceful patient existences with family and friends.

After all this rambling, my point is this, my real goal for Christmas is thankfulness.