Feelings?

A few weeks ago my coworker and I were talking about life, men, women, and a host of nonwork related subjects. As we swapped stories, he heard mine about a potential love lost and he blinked. I rambled on, about being confused by my "friends" overture toward me, his openness, his willingness and then stunned...better yet, hurt, by his sudden rejection. "Isn't it obvious," he asked, "you hurt his feelings."

And I blinked ad sat there for a moment, trying to absorb that. I hurt HIS feelings. The truth of it is , I probably did. Now that I have a son, I am aware, for the first time ever in my life, that men have feelings. Now, I know this isn't a revelation for most people, but the more I think about it the more I realize that, for the better part of my life, I didn't think men had feelings.

Let me back up. I know they have survival feelings. Surely, there is anger, sorrow, lust, etc...But I am talking about the deeper, more intricate, delicate feelings. Like loving a woman without having sex with her. Simply fallin in love with the way she smiles or talks. Noticing the sun, or the trees on a perfect day. I guess I am not used to the concept that by not speaking on one event, a man would be affected. Or that my decision to not call would make him upset.

The simple subtle things, I always thought men didn't care about. I didn't grow up with a male in my household, so the day to day understanding is obviously a little sketchy. Plus, all the men in my upbrining were distant. Cold. Emotionally removed. And a girl - woman defines themselves, on so many levels by the men in their lives.

The truth is, I discounted my male friends emotions when dealing with my own. And now I sit back and think about all the pain it is just occurring to me that I probably caused! That I obviously caused. That I never even considered before...