Remembering peace

My mind wondered temporarily at church today. Not that the preaching wasn't good, just something that she said made me remember when I had peace. Its interesting, often times people speak about peace likes its a temporary emotion, such as "please, can I have some peace." But that's not what I'm talking aobut. I'm talking about when the noise and crashes of life literally fade away and, despite all the chaos around you , you are literally in an unimpenetrably (word?) calm space. Without the aid of Prozac or Percocet.

I slipped into it once. Or, I should say, God granted me access to it once. It certainly wasn't an all access pass, I haven't been able to find that unique pocket in years. But while I carried my twins, the noise of life just ceased to exist. The snow behind the channel of each day, that is bills and anxiety and health concerns and parental struggles, just didn't faze me. I understood their importance, but found myself eager to see sunshine, thankful for each drop of water, grateful for health, lovingly appreciative of life.

And when the twins were born, it continued. It had been the first time I carried a son in my womb, and they definitely give you a different energy than lil girls. By oldest daughter had my emotions all over the place. But, after their birth, as I sat in the back yard wathing them play and listening to the wind (really - and no I wasn't high) I realized that THIS is what peace is. Its not a short intermission, it is a soothing space, a quiet calm, an envelope of cushion. And, it was necessary for me to refocus, have faith and press forward.

Slowly I eased out of the pocket, not on purpose, but I failed to work diligently to stay in that space. But having experienced it changed me. Inexplicably. I can wait now, with patience. I know God will bring change. I can hope now, without panic, I know that it will work out and it will be for good. I can pray now, without urgency, without a reason, simply to be in His presence. I can shed tears now, without shame, because my tears represent a thankfulness at a glimpse of a higher understadning that I was not entitled to, but God allowed me to experience.

SO, as First Lady Trina was preaching today (and she tour it up, put her foot in it, and tour it up some mo) I found myself remembering peace and realizing what a rare encounter it was.