Submission

I have wondered for a long while at the power of submission. Submission. What a dreaded word. Women are taught to never submit themselves to a man's will or his power. That submission is equivalent to slavery, a demeaning forfeiture of all self esteem.

I remember when I was interviewed on Literary Pizzaz, blog talk radio, about six months ago. W e spoke about relationships and I talked about submission, the power of submission that I had discovered as a wife and a sensual woman. One of my Internet supporters was livid with me. She threatened to remove my poetry that she had posted on her website and denounce my name for having said I sought to submit to my husband. Her site encouraged love and acceptance, with an accent on lesbian relationships. I had offended her to the very core.

But she later admitted that she didn't hear the entire show, she had tuned in at the point that I spoke on submission. So she didn't hear my take on it. While my take was still not pleasing to her, it was much easier to swallow, I think, for her.

So here it is: submission. Oddly enough when I say the word I think of power. Lust. Sensuality. Yearning. Satiated. Fulfilled. Submitted.

For me, submission is not a yielding of my power or personal gains. Submission is comfort. It is being in the presence of a real man, who loves me and protects me. In appreciation for his cover, for filling that space that only a love can, I offer him respect, in the best way I can. I encourage him and uplift him. In exchange, he provides for me and his family, supports my personal flight, and is the alpha to our pack. It means I can rest, and share my load with someone will finds me special enough to carry my burden. Submission. A different kind of definition.

So, I think we are right to teach women not to submit in a literal sense. Because that is not the purpose of the submission I am talking about here. The submission I speak of is akin to Terry McMillan's long awaited exhale. Its the acknowledgement of finally finding a stable and secure love and allowing yourself to rely on him, to lean on him. It is welcoming him into your arms late at night, into your body whenever he yearns for you, because your essence yearns for him. It is an unspoken appreciation, a deep well of partnership in which a trusted bond is strengthened.

Submission.