Humbleness?

MY son hurt my feelings last night. Deeply. He didn't do or say anything really mean, I just got struck with the realization that no matter how hard I try to be a good parent, he, they, will find fault. My coworker and I were talking about this today - if I am strong, they will prefer soft. If I am aggressive, they will prefer demure. There is no winning.

So, my son expressed his frustration with the way I give orders. See, in an attempt to seem understanding, I don't say - Son, do the dishes. Instead, I say, Sweetie, can you do the dishes please? Now - this is a rhetorical question, no is not an answer. And that is his big pet peeve - why ask him when he doesn't have a choice anyway? So, as I tried to understandingly appear to listen, he went on to give examples. Like the time I "asked" him to go to the G'Town v. Syracuse game in my absence.

Now, this is where he blew my mind and my chest kinda hurt. His logic was that I waited too late to request he wake from his nap to go to the game - it was 30 min before the game. SO when he said he couldn't go, and I couldn't find a substitute, I told him that he and a friend would have to go so the tix wouldn't be wasted. So the money wouldn't be wasted. I had just washed my daughter's hair, they were running around with conditioner and plastic caps, I couldn't disappear for 3 hours. I couldn't go.

Let me stop right there - b4 I go any further. To be so spoiled and self absorbed as to somehow become the victim in a scenario in which you are "forced" to attend a Big East rivalry game and sit in the 2nd row and watch your friends - whom you grew up with- play, blows my mind. Can someone say - time for a reality check? In no scenario is this a negative, other than in his eyes.

SO, I felt a sinking feeling in my chest as every selfish word formed and dropped from his lips, a direct stab to the balloon of humility. Thankfulness. Appreciation. I haven't really heard him like this b4. And I didn't want to crush him with my verbal response, because it was going to be mean, bad and raw, so I didn't say much. I think I am going to have to let him work his way through this phase - through how unreasonable and bragadoccia and ungrateful it is.

Here is the kicker, after his rant he asked if he could have the season finale home game tix to see Gtwon play Louisville, which are both tied for 1st place. He told his lil girlfriend of the week he would take her. You know the answer to that one was an easy "hell no."