I Voted - Obama

I voted for Obama. I guess that isn't a shock to most folks, giving my vitals. Black woman. Black person. But, trust me, I had no intention on voting for Obama. None. I have argued with many strangers, shielded my fellow Hillary supporters from criticism, and been attacked in every way. My best friends mother stopped short of going off on me on Sunday for supporting the Clintons, by email I have been called a "sell out," a symbol of what's wrong with "high falutin" blacks (imagine that- me, high falutin), proof that black folks are going to hell. It's been rough ya'll. And I was never anti Obama. I just supported Hillary. I don't have to like her (although I don't dislike her). I don't give a damn if she seems cold. I want someone who already has the mechanism in place to affect change. Of course Hillary does. And I love how she maintained her own platform as the first lady. And I love that she is a Senator. And I think that, without Obama, this was her time. And she is from Arkansas - where my people are from for generations ( I am related to the entire town of Kato, Ark) And I adore Bill. So, how could I not vote for her.

Keep in mind, all of that has nothing to do with Obama. He wasn't in my precalculations. His name is a bit distracting after the whole Osama thing, but, besides that, I don't have anything bad to say about him. He is handsome, charismatic. Beautiful family. Married a sista. Good for him. But, I had decided on Hillary 2 years ago.

So, what happened you may ask? Well, let me say that I love black folks. I guess thats really where it starts. I understood my folks and the emotional component to voting for Obama, I just made up my mind. And I wasn't even that offended as folks went off on me. I understood their point of view. I was still voting for Hillary. But, this morning I went to the poll. In Prince Georges County (majority black folks) - at Kingsford Elementary in Mithcellville Md. It is why I moved here in the first place. Say what you want, but going to a community event in Mitchellville is something of a blessing. You just have never seen so many good looking black folks, trying to positively do their thing, attain that dream, etc... I have been here 10 years now and still, I love days like today.

So, I am at the polling place with my beautiful black kinfolk. And mothers were standing in line beaming with their children. Handsome brothers are waiting patiently, grinning. People were nodding at each other, winking. Folks were excited. You could feel it. As voters exited past the line they were grinning, a couple were teary eyes, one woman remarked - "that felt so good."
Then Mr. Handsome walked in. Older gentleman, late 50's. Dress coat, scarf, hat, suit pants. "This the end of the line?" He asked pointing. Someone nodded. He walked straight ahead, patting other black men on the back, smiling at the sistahs. He clapped his hands together. "This is a day of days, people. A day of days."

That did it. In that instant, everything fell away for me. I felt it, the movement that is Obama, the emotion that he represents, the pride that he projects. I haven't had that feelin since....1991 when I first heard Farrakhan preach. This is different than Al or Jesse - this is an unlikely leader an unsung hero. And he is someone I would love to see succeed, I would love to give him a chance.

There is a picture of Obama leaning against his wife, she is hugging him from behind, his eyes are closed as the crowd around him cheers. His wife is making an odd face, as if she is unsure. But there is nothing unsure about him. In that moment he seemed to believe in love, in faith, in people, in goodness. I had never seen a black man allow himself to appear in love, in life, humble, mortal, flawed. Yet, there he stood, nothing more than a man, enjoying the moment, cherishing the second. And that picture came to mind while I stared at the poll. I looked at Hillary's name. I reached for the touch screen. And I couldn't do it. I thought about the black man that closed his eyes and allowed his wifes love to cover him in front of a nation, allowed an audience to see where his strength and his beliefs lie without apology, and suddenly my reasons for supporting Hillary just weren't enough. In any normal election on any normal day against any normal candidate they would have been. But not today, not against Obama. They just weren't enough. He means more. For what he has already done, he deserves more. And I wouldn't, under any circumstances, have to admit to myself or generations to come that I had an opportunity to make my mark to support his brotha, and didn't take it.

I stared at the screen and then I pressed the box for Obama. And I deeply exhaled. And I thanked God for the opportunity to vote. And for overwhelming me at that moment with that sense to come to that conclusion. And I thanked God for the beautiful black man who stepped into the hallway and clapped his hands, snapping me back into reality. He was right- today was a day of days.